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Some people think that people should follow that culture where they live.others think people should follow the culture from they belong. Do you agree or disagree ?

The beliefs provide an identification to a community in the world and dwellers follow different varieties of culture in this modern scenario, where it is reckoned that multitudes ought to follow that culture where they live rather than from the place they belong. It is a moot issue, and it totally depends on the willingness of the person which one they wants to follow. Initiating with the benefits of the following culture of the place where people live in, first and foremost, it enhances the knowledge about other culture. In this current era, dwellers migrate from one country to another country, due to this globalization, and they are participating in the cultural activities where they live in at that time. This participation broden their horrizon and they get knowledge about their history, region along with the cultural specialities. Secondly, the beliefs of the living place is accelerated. For instance, Christmas is celebrated world wide, and all people who are not belong to that religion but they live at there so they celebrate with their forgine friends. When multitudes opt that particular culture it is not only speread, but also create an influence on other towards its strong factors. Why it is important to follow the culture of belonging place? It exhibits the image in the society. There are plethora of evidence from history that shows if people leave their culture and opt another one, that communities do not live longer. So, it is essential to promote one's culture and follow it. It is also a kind of reverenciation towards the ancients who created and built this. One ought to cater their culture owing to which they know about their roots, with whom they belong as well as how their ancestors are distinct from others. To conclude, beliefs give a direction to live life with happiness. Although people follow the culture where they live, yet to promote their own culture, they ought to care for them also.
The beliefs provide an identification to a community in the world and dwellers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in this modern scenario, where it
is reckoned
that multitudes ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
rather
than from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
they belong. It is a moot issue, and it
totally
depends on the willingness of the person which one they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “want”
wants
to follow.

Initiating with the benefits of the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in,
first
and foremost, it enhances the knowledge about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era, dwellers migrate from one country to another country, due to this globalization, and they are participating in the cultural activities where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in at that time. This participation
Possible spelling mistake found.
broden
their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
horrizon and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about their history, region along with the cultural specialities.
Secondly
, the beliefs of the living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is accelerated
.
For instance
, Christmas
is celebrated
The adjective/adverb “worldwide” is spelled as one word.
world wide
, and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not belong to that religion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
at there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they celebrate with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
forgine
friends. When multitudes opt that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
speread
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
create an influence on other towards its strong factors.

Why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of belonging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
? It exhibits the image in the society. There are plethora of evidence from history that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and opt another one, that communities do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is essential to promote one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
it. It is
also
a kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reverenciation
towards the ancients who created and built this. One ought to cater their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
owing to which they know about their roots, with whom they belong
as well
as how their ancestors are distinct from others.
To conclude
, beliefs give a direction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
life with happiness. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
,
yet
to promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, they ought to care for them
also
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that people should follow that culture where they live. others think people should follow the culture from they belong.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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