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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The role of advertising nowadays is quite uncertain. Some people think that it has the power to pursue the customers to buy items while others say that since advertisement appears so often, no one listens to it. I strongly believe that although good-quality advertising can convince society to buy some extra things, individuals quite often ignore it. On the one hand, by watching advertising public buys more items. Due to many professionals who work hard on making an appealing image and persuasive text for advertisement, it looks more attractive for customers; thus, people are convinced in high-quality of this item, so want to possess and buy it. For example, in South Korea, some businessmen pay attention to the quality of advertising for their product, so they hire directors and makeup artists as they know how to present an item at its best; therefore, many consumers seeing a high-quality presentation of a product go and buy it. On the other hand, nowadays many average individuals get used to advertising. In other words, since it on TV, on each website, in the videos, and on the streets, seeing advertising becomes as usual as breathing the air, therefore, the public simply does not draw attention. To illustrate, statistics of webpages shows that, in comparison with the last decade, the number of users who do not click on advertising links has significantly increased, besides, even pop-ups are closed within a few second. In conclusion, certain people ascertain that advertisement has an influence on them when it comes to purchasing items, whereas others feel it is so ordinary to see a commercial, thus, nobody draws attention to it. In my firm conviction, I take the view that despite that high-quality advertising may pursue clients to buy up some things, they get used to seeing plenty of ads all around them, so simply ignore it.
The role of advertising nowadays is quite uncertain.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has the power to pursue the customers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
while others say that since advertisement appears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, no one listens to it. I
strongly
believe that although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-quality advertising can convince society to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra things, individuals quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it.

On the one hand, by watching advertising public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. Due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals who work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on making an appealing image and persuasive text for advertisement, it looks more attractive for customers;
thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are convinced
in high-quality of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
want to possess and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
For example
, in South Korea,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businessmen pay attention to the quality of advertising for their product,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they hire directors and makeup artists as they know how to present an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
at its best;
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consumers seeing a high-quality presentation of a product go and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
average individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to advertising. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, since
It seems that the possessive pronoun “its” fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
on TV, on each website, in the videos, and on the streets, seeing advertising becomes as usual as breathing the air,
therefore
, the public
simply
does not draw attention. To illustrate, statistics of webpages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that,
in comparison
with the last decade, the number of users who do not click on advertising links has
significantly
increased,
besides
, even pop-ups
are closed
within a few second.

In conclusion
, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ascertain that advertisement has an influence on them when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, whereas others feel it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ordinary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a commercial,
thus
, nobody draws attention to it. In my firm conviction, I take the view that despite that high-quality advertising may pursue clients to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of ads all around them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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