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Some people think that people should do nothing in their leisure time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that people should do nothing in their leisure time. 2POQw
Recently, in this competitive and tough world, people’s leisure time is extremely limited and pressure on them is considerable. So, some people think whenever they find time, they should use it efficiently by doing activities which can be active or passive. I agree with this statement for several reasons. The first reason why I agree with this statement is that cerebral activities can have a good impact on people’s mind. In this way, they can rejuvenate their brain and improve logical thinking. Doing intellectual activities such as crosswords, doing puzzles, reading a book or playing a chess etc. helps them to think deeply and find out direct solution for challenging situations. People begin to be attentive and their brain stars to work quickly. These activities also allow people to learn something new and broaden their knowledge even in their free time. The second reason why I agree with this statement is that involving in physical and outdoor activities leads to healthier and happier life. By doing physical activities, people can restore their body and can have energy for challenging situations during the day. They can take their problems mind off and recover from hectic of work which makes people exhausted and irritable. People can socialize with their family and friends and collate good memories with them. On the other hand, some people think that people should do nothing with their spare time. They believe that engaging the brain in such activities require a high range of attention and energy. I do not agree with this statement because I think that leisure time is golden and people should use it to learn something new and to enjoy their life. In conclusion, I believe that people should try to derive maximum benefits from their free time by doing activities which contribute to their physical and mental growth.
Recently, in this competitive and tough world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
leisure

time is
extremely
limited and pressure on them is considerable.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
whenever they find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they should

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
efficiently
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which can be active or

passive. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
for several reasons.

The
first
reason why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
is that cerebral

activities can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mind. In this way,

they can rejuvenate their brain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
logical thinking.

Doing intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as crosswords,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
puzzles,

reading a book or playing a chess etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think


deeply
and find out direct solution for challenging situations.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to be attentive and their brain stars to work

quickly
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn something

new and broaden their knowledge even in their free time.

The second reason why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
is that

involving in physical and outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
leads to healthier

and happier life. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can restore

their body and can have energy for challenging situations

during the day. They can take their problems mind off and

recover from hectic of work which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exhausted

and irritable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can socialize with their family and friends

and collate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memories with them.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do

nothing with their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They believe that engaging
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
brain
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
require a high range of attention and

energy. I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that

leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is golden and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to learn

something new and to enjoy their life.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to derive

maximum benefits from their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
activities

which contribute to their physical and mental growth.
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IELTS essay Some people think that people should do nothing in their leisure time.

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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