Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Happiness is such an individual notion and it is easy to see why the discussions surrounding it are also unsettled. One of such questions is related to accountability towards it: some say it is individuals’ responsibility to be happy while others believe that there are other elements in life that contribute to this feeling. I personally share the views with ones who also credit self-accountability as a precursor of happiness. On the one hand, there are people who feel certain factors are necessary to feel content with life. They often cite stable income, luxurious mansions and expensive cars to be a cause of this divine feeling. Indeed, enjoying high living standards does have a strong impact on the way people experience contentment. Also, they fairly give a credit to other attributing factors for happiness such as peace and serenity in a country or health of their own or of their close people. Despite these all, the world has seen a vast majority of individuals who have all the above stated factors but still complain about their misery. On the other hand, I support the views of those who think feeling of happiness is their own responsibility. The reason for why I think the feeling has a lot to do with a person’s own liability is that every person gets to decide how to feel about changes and what kind of attitude they hold about their lives. This is an extremely demanding task and not every person is capable of seeing positive in their job loss, for instance. For some it may mean a desperate misery while for the person with strong self-realization it means a chance to grow in other spheres. To conclude, I think holding an ownership for our happiness is a completely personal choice which explains why for some individuals having all contributing factors is never enough to be joyful as they have not fully realized their own role to play to experience authentic happiness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is such an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
notion and
it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why the discussions surrounding it are
also
unsettled. One of such questions
is related
to accountability towards it:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
responsibility to be happy while others believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elements in life that contribute to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
. I
personally
share the views with ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
also
credit self-accountability as a precursor of happiness.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are necessary to feel content with life. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cite stable income, luxurious mansions and expensive cars to be a cause of this divine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
.
Indeed
, enjoying high living standards does have a strong impact on the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
experience contentment.
Also
, they
fairly
give a credit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
attributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
such as peace and serenity in a country or health of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or of their close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Despite these all, the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have all the above stated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
complain about their misery.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I support the views of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility. The reason for why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
has a lot to do with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
liability is that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to decide how to feel about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and what kind of attitude they hold about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is an
extremely
demanding task and not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is capable of seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in their job loss,
for instance
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it may mean a desperate misery while for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with strong self-realization it means a chance to grow in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
spheres.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
holding an ownership for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a completely personal choice which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
having all contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
is never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be joyful as they have not
fully
realized their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
role to play to experience authentic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts