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opinions regarding what truly makes a person a good performer or a talented individual

People have various opinions regarding what truly makes a person a good performer or a talented individual. Some people contend that the talent is a natural gift, whilst others, including myself, have a different opinion since we believe that any person can become an excellent achiever by guidance, dedication and hard work. On the one hand, it is believed that some people are gifted and they naturally master musical instruments or sports as if they had been taught for years. For instance, my son, who is a big fan of football, was admitted to a higher level on his first training session because he could easily perform all the required skills of the previous levels. Had he been trained earlier, he would have joined the club official team. . Therefore, it can be deduced that some people are more talented than others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have various opinions regarding what
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performer or a talented individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that the talent is a natural gift, whilst others, including myself, have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion since we believe that any person can become an excellent achiever by guidance, dedication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gifted and
they
naturally
master musical instruments or sports as if they had
been taught
for years.
For instance
, my son, who is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fan of football,
was admitted
to a higher level on his
first
training session
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he could
easily
perform all the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the previous levels. Had he
been trained
earlier, he would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the club official team.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Therefore
, it can
be deduced
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more talented than others.

IELTS essay opinions regarding what truly makes a person a good performer or a talented individual

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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