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Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Almost every day of the week you can you read stories about societies are grappling with finding the best ways to curb the rising crime rate. In fact, this issue has aroused much controversy among people. It is widely believed that increasing police presence in different areas of cities will reduce criminality. However, I personally opine that other aspects of a country such as the economy and educational system play a more crucial role in diminishing crime rates. Hence several reasons go as follows. First and foremost, an efficient education system can act as a deterrent to committing crimes. Indeed, school after the home is the second minutiae which children are bringing up in. Moreover, children have to be taught how to behave in society and what is wrong morally. Therefore, the educational system will discourage committing offences by teaching children moral lessons. For instance, Japan had changed its educational infrastructure in 1992 to focus more on ethical issues. Therefore, since 1992, its delinquency rate is decreasing by 4% annually. Last but not least, a lucrative economy provides more jobs with appropriate salaries. Thus, everyone has enough amount of money to afford a good standard of living. In this respect, if the inflation rate is low, the economy will be a panacea for discouraging criminality in all its forms. According to recent research conducted by the University of Toronto from 1990 until 2001, when the inflation rate of Iran economy was low, there was no incentive for crime anymore. In conclusion, I think other measurements such as enhancing the educational system and economics condition is more effective than increasing police presence to diminish criminality.
Almost every day of the week you
can
you read stories about societies are grappling with finding the best ways to curb the rising
crime
rate
. In fact, this issue has aroused much controversy among
people
. It is
widely
believed that increasing police presence in
different
areas of cities will
reduce
criminality.
However
, I
personally
opine that other aspects of a country such as the
economy
and
educational
system
play a more crucial role in diminishing
crime
rates
.
Hence
several reasons go as follows.

First
and foremost, an efficient education
system
can act as a deterrent to committing
crimes
.
Indeed
, school after the home is the second minutiae which children are bringing up in.
Moreover
, children
have to
be taught
how to behave in society and what is
wrong
morally
.
Therefore
, the
educational
system
will discourage committing
offences
by teaching children moral lessons.
For instance
, Japan had
changed
its
educational
infrastructure in 1992 to focus more on ethical issues.
Therefore
, since 1992, its delinquency
rate
is decreasing by 4%
annually
.

Last
but
not least, a lucrative
economy
provides more jobs with appropriate salaries.
Thus
, everyone has
enough
amount of money to afford a
good
standard of living. In this respect, if the inflation
rate
is low, the
economy
will be a panacea for discouraging criminality in all its forms. According to recent research conducted by the University of Toronto from 1990 until 2001, when the inflation
rate
of Iran
economy
was low, there was no incentive for
crime
anymore.

In conclusion
, I
think
other measurements such as enhancing the
educational
system
and economics condition is more effective than increasing police presence to diminish criminality.
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IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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