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Some people think that parents should not give their children expensive presents Do you agree or disagree with this statement Give your opinion and examples based on you own experience v.2

Some people think that parents should not give their children expensive presents Give your opinion and examples based on you own experience v. 2
Some people put forward the idea that parents should not make purchase for costly gifts for their offsprings. Despite many agreement on presenting costly gifts, I stand with the former opinion. This essay will first explain the reason why many people choose high-priced presents, then it will give the reason for my agreement with the former one. Many parents purchase expensive presents for their children, regardless of what they may be. First of all, they believe that costly toys or clothes as gifts for children reflect their social status, which means the more expensive the presents are, the more well-off their family is. For example, instead of dashing to the nearest bakery to make purchase for a ready-made cake, some parents would try their best to throw a big costly birthday party for their children. Secondly, they go the extra miles to get the high-priced stuff for their offsprings in the belief that these presents will show the unconditional love from them to their beloved children, without knowing that this could harm the children to some extent. On the other hand, expensive gifts do bring the children harm, which we can hardly realize right after giving the children these gifts. The first disadvantage to mention is that the children will become over-reliant on the parents, to be more precise, the costly gifts from parents. The parents keep purchasing high-priced gifts to the children, resulting in an increase the demands for more expensive presents. A prime example is that average-priced jeans can not satisfy the children who are familiar to the high-priced gifts and they will cave for another pair. That is one disadvantage, one can not forget to mention is pampering children by giving them expensive gifts would discourage the children from appreciating the effort made by their parents to get that costly item for them. As a consequence, the children grow up becoming ungrateful ones. All in all, giving expensive gifts should be considered carefully to make sure that no unexpected consequence will happen. However, I would encourage parents to present the gifts with their heart, no matter how expensive they are.
Some
people
put forward the
idea
that
parents
should not
make
purchase
for
costly
gifts
for their
offsprings
. Despite
many
agreement on presenting
costly
gifts
, I stand with the former opinion. This essay will
first
explain
the reason why
many
people
choose
high-priced
presents
, then it will give the reason for my agreement with the former one.

Many
parents
purchase
expensive
presents
for their
children
, regardless of what they may be.
First of all
, they believe that
costly
toys or clothes as
gifts
for
children
reflect their social status, which means the more
expensive
the
presents
are, the more well-off their family is.
For example
,
instead
of dashing to the nearest bakery to
make
purchase
for a ready-made cake,
some
parents
would try their best to throw a
big
costly
birthday party for their
children
.
Secondly
, they go the extra miles to
get
the
high-priced
stuff for their
offsprings
in the belief that these
presents
will
show
the unconditional
love
from them to their beloved
children
, without knowing that this could harm the
children
to
some
extent.

On the other hand
,
expensive
gifts
do bring the
children
harm, which we can hardly realize right after giving the
children
these
gifts
. The
first
disadvantage to mention is that the
children
will become over-reliant on the
parents
, to be more precise, the
costly
gifts
from
parents
. The
parents
keep
purchasing
high-priced
gifts
to the
children
, resulting in an increase the demands for more
expensive
presents
. A prime example is that average-priced jeans can not satisfy the
children
who are familiar to the
high-priced
gifts and
they will cave for another pair.
That is
one disadvantage, one can not forget to mention is pampering
children
by giving them
expensive
gifts
would discourage the
children
from appreciating the effort made by their
parents
to
get
that
costly
item for them. As a consequence, the
children
grow up becoming ungrateful ones.

All in all, giving
expensive
gifts
should
be considered
carefully
to
make
sure that no unexpected consequence will happen.
However
, I would encourage
parents
to
present
the
gifts
with their heart, no matter how
expensive
they are.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should not give their children expensive presents Give your opinion and examples based on you own experience v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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