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Computers play a vital role in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education v.1

Computers play a vital role in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education v. 1
Sports, badminton, basketball and volleyball, to name a few, are crucial recreational activities in maintaining wellness and promoting healthy competition among players. However, two opposing assumptions are being generated regarding which source of strength is essential in achieving success in this field. Certain groups of individuals claim that its physical aspect is important while the rest argue that mental health is a scale heavier than the aforementioned. My conviction dictates that both concepts possess justifiable points. Being physically fit is a prerequisite in particular sports. No doubt, some sports require specific body weight and normal body mass index, especially in contact sports. A stellar example of such is boxing. In this category, two players who have the same weight fight for the championship belt. Physiological power is highly imperative to attack the opponent. Clearly, physical ability is a key player on several games. On the contrary, mental potency is more of a mindset and having an undeniable intellectual ability. Although it is needed in all recreational activities, the degree depends according to the rules of the game. For instance, in volleyball, physical and intellectual power must be present to think efficiently what stroke is suitable to defeat the opposite team. Meanwhile, in sports like Chess, intellectual strength is the main requirement. Having the ability to plan comprehensively on how to attack the other player likewise how to defend one’s king. Moreover, mental advancement is then equally essential as the physiological power. As a denouement, physiological and mental strength is similarly imperative for success in sport. In contact games such as basketball and volleyball, physique is necessary. But if the sport is more of a mind activity, chess, games of the general or word factory, for instance, mental advantage is vital. At the end of the day, sports are diversion activities that must help people enjoy and improve their health in all dimensions: physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
, badminton, basketball and volleyball, to name a few, are crucial recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in maintaining wellness and promoting healthy competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
However
, two opposing assumptions are
being generated
regarding which source of strength is essential in achieving success in this field. Certain groups of individuals claim that its physical aspect is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
while the rest argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health is a scale heavier than the aforementioned. My conviction dictates that both concepts possess justifiable points.

Being
physically
fit is a prerequisite
in particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. No doubt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
require specific body weight and normal body mass index,
especially
in contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. A stellar example of such is boxing. In this category, two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
who have the same weight fight for the championship belt. Physiological power is
highly
imperative to attack the opponent.
Clearly
, physical ability is a key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
on several games.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
potency is more of a mindset and having an undeniable intellectual ability. Although it
is needed
in all recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the degree
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the game.
For instance
, in volleyball, physical and intellectual power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be present to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
efficiently
what stroke is suitable to defeat the opposite team. Meanwhile, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like Chess, intellectual strength is the main requirement. Having the ability to plan
comprehensively
on how to attack the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
likewise
how to defend one’s king.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
advancement is then
equally
essential as the physiological power.

As a
'denouement' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "dénouement"
denouement
, physiological and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
strength is
similarly
imperative for success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. In contact games such as basketball and volleyball, physique is necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is more of a mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, chess, games of the general or word factory,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
advantage is vital. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are diversion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health in all dimensions:
physically
, mentally,
spiritually
and
emotionally
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers play a vital role in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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