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: Some people think that paper money and coins will be replaced completely by credit cards and online methods of payment in the future. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

: Some people think that paper money and coins will be replaced completely by credit cards and online methods of payment in the future. v. 1
With the technological advancements in the banking system, nowadays people are presented with numerous ways of paying for purchases. It is often said that electronically operated banking cards will displace the use of paper money and coins. However, I don’t believe that modern payment methods will take over completely from traditional banknotes and coins. There are various advantages of modern monetary exchange. Firstly, it is now increasingly common for people to shop online where they cannot use paper money and coins to pay. Thus, people eventually embrace the modern method of payment to be able to participate in online commerce. Secondly, the security features of credit cards and online method of monetary exchange give authorities the capability of tracing the use of the cards. However, if the person carrying money is robbed then it is difficult to find out where the stolen money is used. Furthermore, the safety features of modern monetary exchange will be invaluable for people who want to keep their hard-earned money safe. Even though electronic cards have brought tremendous comforts and convenience to people, these cannot entirely replace the traditional money exchange. Paper money and metal coins have long been used as a medium of exchange and a standard of value in almost all societies. Thus, the traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background which are impossible to change. Internet banking is not always fully secured. There is ample evidence of computer viruses, hackers and crimes. Humans have developed a certain emotional bonding with paper money and coins. Coin collectors, for example, will inevitably get hurt after entire replacement of traditional money and coins. In conclusion, the modern monetary exchange has certainly benefited people by bringing convenience and avoiding certain problems from using paper money and coins.
With the technological advancements in the banking system, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are presented
with numerous ways of paying for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
electronically
operated banking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
will displace the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and coins.
However
, I don’t believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
payment methods will take over completely from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
banknotes and coins.

There are various advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
increasingly
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shop online where they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and coins to pay.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eventually
embrace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
method of payment to be able to participate in online commerce.
Secondly
, the security features of credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and online method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
give authorities the capability of tracing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
.
However
, if the person carrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is robbed
then it is difficult to find out where the stolen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Furthermore
, the safety features of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
will be invaluable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
safe.

Even though
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
have brought tremendous comforts and convenience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these cannot
entirely
replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
. Paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and metal coins have long been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a medium of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
and a standard of value in almost all societies.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
system has a cultural, historical and social background which are impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Internet banking is not always
fully
secured. There is ample evidence of computer viruses, hackers and crimes. Humans have developed a certain emotional bonding with paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and coins. Coin collectors,
for example
, will
inevitably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt after entire replacement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and coins.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
has
certainly
benefited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by bringing convenience and avoiding certain problems from using paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and coins.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay : Some people think that paper money and coins will be replaced completely by credit cards and online methods of payment in the future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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