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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ONLY THE GOVERNMENT CAN MAKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN SOCIETY, WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT INDIVIDUALS CAN HAVE A LOT OF INFLUENCE. What is your opinion?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ONLY THE GOVERNMENT CAN MAKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN SOCIETY, WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT INDIVIDUALS CAN HAVE A LOT OF INFLUENCE. What is your opinion? Gld2L
The state organs have more opportunities in collective modifications in order to shift them for some conceptual mind whilst others believe that people are able to make more effective-changed sense for the improvements, standing the same or failures of community. Some important changes can be made to various of situations by public servants, however, residential effects are acceptable for the nation that I am stood out in and is the letter one. To begin with, governments are playing an important role in today’s developing world and can permit a number of internal regulations or even international agreements with foreign countries that may be useful for the public welfare as well as creating facilities for the locals. The reason why internal aspects are concerned vital is that one quintessential vindication is bullying are going up on the roads because of a lack of public awareness. It is called technoholism. What is more, if the people are busy with chatting on cell phones or listening to music, it will be next preference to make a new victim for the rubbery. New laws to recruit using cell phones can do citizens ʼ mind active. Short after, respect rate of the people will definitely increase for each other as well. When it comes to international factors, government has a great opportunity to take actions to open new state services for the local population who are living far away from the government barriers by imposing international criteria into the systems aimed to ameliorate publicʼs affluency. In other words, local humans will have an occasion to learn about the educational traits or sport advancements of overseas. The government can be seen as a root of social changes. On the other hand, local citizens may be able to do incridable changes in the development of society. Firstly, learning a knowledge from the cradle to the grave hangs the society modern during any period of life. People are capable of doing their childrens well educated by supporting them with enough necessities or at least with motivation. Knowledgable generations are a basic elements of the improving of society. In addition, citizens who have property anymore can fund building new sport houses or big shopping malls which are a full of affordable products. In these cases, there is no doubt visible escalates will occur in society. To sum up, according to some peopleʼs point of view, public shifts (especially, towards up) are deeply-related to managerialism of the government. In stark contrast, some consider that modifying society is based on residentʼs impact. I am also in the sight of civil influences because it is impossible to make external exchanges before internal ones won’t be done.
The state organs have more opportunities in collective modifications in order to shift them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conceptual mind whilst others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more effective-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
sense for the improvements, standing the same or failures of community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can
be made
to various of situations by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
servants,
however
, residential effects are acceptable for the nation that I
am stood
out in and is the letter one.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s developing world and can permit a number of internal regulations or even international agreements with foreign countries that may be useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
welfare
as well
as creating facilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. The reason why internal aspects
are concerned
vital is that one quintessential vindication is bullying are going up on the roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness. It
is called
Possible spelling mistake found.
technoholism
.
What is more
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with chatting on cell phones or listening to music, it will be
next
preference to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
victim for the rubbery.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
laws to recruit using cell phones can do citizens ʼ mind active. Short after, respect rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will definitely increase for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as well
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to international factors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a great opportunity to take actions to open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
state services for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population who are living far away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
barriers by imposing international criteria into the systems aimed to ameliorate
Possible spelling mistake found.
publicʼs
Possible spelling mistake found.
affluency
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
humans will have an occasion to learn about the educational traits or sport advancements of overseas. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a root of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens may be able to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
incridable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
, learning
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "knowledge".
a knowledge
from the cradle to the grave hangs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
modern during any period of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are capable of doing their childrens
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
by supporting them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
necessities or at least with motivation.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Knowledgable
generations are a basic
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "element"?
elements
of the improving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
In addition
, citizens who have property anymore can fund building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
shopping malls which are a full of affordable products. In these cases, there is no doubt visible escalates will occur in society.

To sum up, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
peopleʼs
point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
shifts (
especially
, towards up) are
deeply
-related to
Possible spelling mistake found.
managerialism
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. In stark contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider that modifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is based
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
residentʼs
impact. I am
also
in the sight of civil influences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
external exchanges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
internal ones won’t
be done
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ONLY THE GOVERNMENT CAN MAKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN SOCIETY, WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT INDIVIDUALS CAN HAVE A LOT OF INFLUENCE. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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