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True success can be measured primarily in terms of the goals one sets for oneself.

True success can be measured primarily in terms of the goals one sets for oneself. dkVLK
Every individual sets a goal for themselves, whether it is a short-term or a long-term one, and act on it so that they can achieve them and realize their dreams. They measure their success on the amount of work they have done to reach a particular point and the targets they were able to reach. So, I agree with the statement that it is from one’s goals that their true success can primarily be measured. Firstly, I firmly believe that an individual’s capabilities are best known to himself rather than a society or elders. So, it is the person himself that has to take an initiative to spend time on noting the tasks they need to work on, and act accordingly. However, it is obvious that people tend to take suggestions from others, but it is to be noted that they should not completely place their trust and depend on others. Instead, they have to depend on their interests and motivations, act step-by-step accordingly. Consider Steve Jobs as an example, the world named him successful for running Apple successfully and re-designing Macintosh in the 1990’s. But Steve wasn’t convinced of this achievement-he wanted to do something more creative and has challenged himself by setting a larger goal of making a smartphone. When the iPhone got finally introduced in 2000’s, Steve’s eyes were lit and he was so happy for this invention that has the potential to revolutionize the world. So, it is always important to follow our passions and set goals accordingly, and a person can be successful if he could achieve these goals. People also tend to set their goals from their past experiences and any improvisations that can be made to produce a better output that can revolutionize the world. For instance, Elon Musk, a billionaire and the creator of Tesla and SpaceX, has seen the potential of automobiles in the current world. He was always concerned of the impact of excessive utilization of fossil fuels and wanted to produce something different and this has paved the way for utilizing electricity for running vehicles. The goal that he set for himself was a trivial one, and it needed years of hardwork to achieve it. The world has named him a successful person for the way he revolutionized the automobile industry. This is another example which one can surely say that attaining self-goals is a measure of true success. However, some people argue that success can only be measured on the goals that the society has set on a person. They tend to say that teachers and parents know better about the children and have to tune them in such a way that they begin to work on a goal that the society has set on them. This argument seems baseless because it is the influence of the innovations that changes the minds of young people and attracts them to work on something new, and if they are bound to listen to others advice, we might never see any improvements in any fields. Consider scientists as an example, would it have been possible that nuclear energy is utilized as a source of electricity if the governments forced them to work on producing more powerful bombs to destroy the opponents? So, every individual must be left free to follow their intentions and set goals to achieve success. Taking all the above points into consideration, it is the role of society to guide people, but not influence them, so that individuals can set goals for themselves and act accordingly to achieve success.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
sets a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
for themselves, whether it is a short-term or a long-term one, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
on it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
them and realize their dreams. They measure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they have done to reach a particular point and the targets they were able to reach.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that it is from one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
that their true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can
primarily
be measured
.

Firstly
, I
firmly
believe that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
capabilities are best known to himself
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or elders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
himself that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take an initiative to spend time on noting the tasks they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accordingly
.
However
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to take suggestions from others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is to
be noted
that they should not completely place their trust and depend on others.
Instead
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on their interests and motivations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
step-by-step
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accordingly
. Consider Steve Jobs as an example, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
named him successful for running Apple
successfully
and re-designing Macintosh in the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1990s".
1990’s
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Steve wasn’t convinced of this achievement-he wanted to do something more creative and has challenged himself by setting a larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
of making a smartphone. When the iPhone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
finally
introduced
The article is probably missing here: "in the 2000’s".
in 2000’s
, Steve’s eyes were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lit and
he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy for this invention that has the potential to revolutionize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to follow our passions and set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accordingly
, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can be successful if he could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
these goals.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
also
tend to set their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
from their
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
and any improvisations that can
be made
to produce a better output that can revolutionize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For instance
, Elon Musk, a billionaire and the creator of Tesla and SpaceX, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the potential of automobiles in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. He was always concerned of the impact of excessive utilization of fossil fuels and wanted to produce something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and this has paved the way for utilizing electricity for running vehicles. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
that he set for himself was a trivial one, and it needed years of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
it. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has named him a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for the way he revolutionized the automobile industry. This is another example which one can
surely
say that attaining self-goals is a measure of true success.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be measured
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has set on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. They tend to say that teachers and parents know better about the children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
tune them in such a way that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has set on them. This argument seems baseless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the influence of the innovations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the minds of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and attracts them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on something new, and if they
are bound
to listen to others advice, we might never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any improvements in any fields. Consider scientists as an example, would it have been possible that nuclear energy
is utilized
as a source of electricity if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
forced them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on producing more powerful bombs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the opponents?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
free to follow their intentions and set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
success.

Taking all the above points into consideration, it is the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not influence them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
for themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accordingly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
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IELTS essay True success can be measured primarily in terms of the goals one sets for oneself.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
591 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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