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Some people think that Olympic games are exciting event that brings other nations together. Others say Olympics expensive waste of money that would be better spent on other things. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

It is believed by some that organising International sporting events such as The Olympic games is exhilarating activity and also that leads to cooperation and piece among countries. While there are others who opine that The Olympic games is a wasteful activity. This essay will discuss both views and support the argument that such international games must be planned because of its positive impact, followed by a reasoned conclusion. It is clear that international games helps to attract many countries which result in significant improvements in relationships of countries. It has had great reputation among all countries long time. For example, the Greek and other countries in 800 B. C. didn't fight each other during The Olympic games and they cooperated and organised it together. Moreover, another benefit of holding intercontinental games is that several foreign tourists come to see and support their team which result in a foreign currency inflow This is to say, when such multi-national games are organised by the host country invites many foreign tourists from all over the world which in turn brings in foreign currency that helps to boost the economy of the country. However, certain people believe that the organisation of multi-national events leads to the wastage of financial resources of the country. In other words, a nation will have to spend huge sum of funds in the construction and development of infrastructures for these events. That is money allocated in constructing roads, hotels for foreign tourists, construction of the stadium and so on. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by the government found that more than millions of funds are wasted in organising international events. As a consequence, it puts the company under financial burden and distress so it seems to be better for spending other things such as improving poverty, education and environmental issues. To conclude, while some people believe that international events are beneficial, others opine that it is a waste of money. However, In my opinion, I vehemently agree that the organisation of multi-national events helps in the development of relationship between countries and finances of a country by bringing in more foreign funds.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organising’ is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as The Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is exhilarating activity and
also
that leads to cooperation and piece among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are others who opine that The Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a wasteful activity. This essay will discuss both views and support the argument that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be planned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which result in significant improvements in relationships of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It has had great reputation among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
long time.
For example
, the Greek and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 800 B. C. didn't fight each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
during The Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and they cooperated and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organised’ is British English.
organised
it together.
Moreover
, another benefit of holding intercontinental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and support their team which result in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
currency inflow This is to say, when such multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organised’ is British English.
organised
by the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
invites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tourists from all over the world which in turn brings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
currency that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost the economy of the country.

However
, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
of multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
leads to the wastage of financial resources of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, a nation will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend huge sum of funds in the construction and development of infrastructures for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
That is
money allocated in constructing roads, hotels for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tourists, construction of the stadium and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
found that more than millions of funds
are wasted
in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organising’ is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. As a consequence, it puts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
under financial burden and distress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it seems to be better for spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things such as improving poverty, education and environmental issues.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are beneficial, others opine that it is a waste of money.
However
, In my opinion, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
of multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the development of relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and finances of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by bringing in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
funds.

IELTS essay Some people think that Olympic games are exciting event that brings other nations together. Others say Olympics expensive waste of money that would be better spent on other things.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that Olympic games are exciting event that brings other nations together. Others say Olympics expensive waste of money that would be better spent on other things. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.