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Computer games are very popular in all ages and nationalities. Parents think is has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Playing computer games become increasingly popular in all children. Some parents believe that games have adverse effects on value. I find myself in complete agreement with this new point. The first reason to be mentioned is video games which lead to causes of the more sedentary lifestyles. Children nowadays spend hours playing video games, and this sometimes affects the mental health of a child. Because when we play computer games for long stretches of time, it will lead to depression and mental instability among children. Moreover, video games can be addictive easily if we spend a lot of time and ultimately it will have bad grades at school. Secondly, some video games these days are too violent for children to apply to their lessons. This leaves who playing games at risk of developing bad habits such as killing animals, racing and worse is stealing money to play games. Especially children because they are in the habit of aping the game which excites them with virtual rewards if thay play well. Therefore, it is very important for parents to keep an eye on their children’s gaming habits. To conclude, computer games do not have a lot of educational value so that people should refrain from playing them too much. And parents also should be careful of the game that their children are playing in order for them is not negative impacted on their mental growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
become
increasingly
popular in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have adverse effects on value. I find myself in complete agreement with this new point. The
first
reason to
be mentioned
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which lead to causes of the more sedentary lifestyles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
nowadays spend hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
affects the mental health of a child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when we play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for long stretches of time, it will lead to depression and mental instability among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be addictive
easily
if we spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and
ultimately
it will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
grades at school.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
these days are too violent for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to apply to their lessons. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as killing animals, racing and worse is stealing money to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are in the habit of aping the game which excites them with virtual rewards if
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
play well.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
gaming habits.
To conclude
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
educational value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should refrain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
them too much. And parents
also
should be careful of the game that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
in order for them is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacted on their mental growth.

IELTS essay Computer games are very popular in all ages and nationalities. Parents think is has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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