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Some feel that the effect of advertising are positive for individuals and business, while other think they are negative. Discuss both side and give your own opinion.

In this neoteric epoch, advertisement is epitome of successful business; however, there are a split opinion regarding effects of advertising. Some people think that advertisement is effective for business and people; whereas, another group of individual believe that advertise are negative. Both has it on pros and cons. Therefore before commenting my view, both the opinions must be discussed. Examining the former view on a positive effects of advertisement. The prime reason is advertisement is a leading medium to aware people about products. One can gain knowledge about a particular product and can compare with other brands. For instance, the big international companies nowadays put increasing emphases on advertisement to promote their products. Moreover, government spread information in affective manner using commercial on different platforms. The best exemplification of this is, the recent pandemic, when every advertisement was related to health concerns. On the contrary, the letter view suggest that there are a negative consequences of advertisement, as some time the content could be manipulative. Even more, advertisement is made of visual and graphics, which are completely unrealistic; nevertheless it simulate and force consumer to buy products. Consequently, individual can get misguided by such commercials. For instance, once one famous director revealed in interview, how they used the plastic substance to create visual effect, which is completely look like original product. Finally in my opinion, I firmly support the first view. As commercial are useful for multinational brands to promote their upcoming products and also for the nation to aware people about particular situations, especially the health issues. To conclude, there are many arguments related to negative effects of advertisement but my arguments prove that there are positive results of commercial which are appropriate for both individual and business.
In this neoteric epoch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is epitome of successful business;
however
, there are a split opinion regarding effects of advertising.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is effective for business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; whereas, another group of individual believe that advertise are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Both has it on pros and cons.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, both the opinions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be discussed
. Examining the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. The prime reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a leading medium to aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. One can gain knowledge about a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and can compare with other brands.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
nowadays put increasing emphases on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spread information in affective manner using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
platforms. The best exemplification of this is, the recent pandemic, when every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
was related
to health concerns.
On the contrary
, the letter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
suggest that there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time the content could be manipulative. Even more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is made
of visual and graphics, which are completely unrealistic;
nevertheless
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “simulates”.
simulate
and force consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Consequently
, individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
misguided by such commercials.
For instance
, once one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
director revealed in interview, how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the plastic substance to create visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
, which is completely look like original product.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
in my opinion, I
firmly
support the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
are useful for multinational brands to promote their upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
also
for the nation to aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about particular situations,
especially
the health issues.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments related to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my arguments prove that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
which are appropriate for both individual and business.

IELTS essay Some feel that the effect of advertising are positive for individuals and business, while other think they are negative.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
289 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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