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Some people think that nowadays we have so many choice. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that nowadays we have so many choice. g8PaO
A number of people believe that people have so many choice currently. I agree with this statement because of many reasons. Due to the effect of globalisation people make more choice. The effect of Internet and advertising also have great influence on people demand. First, people have many choice at present. From my point of view, the impact of socialization fall in people mind. Earth is improving in every sector. Day by day, development is getting all around. Due to that fact, people are getting interested on many things. It influenced them deliberately. Such as, the people of India want to make more beautiful house rather than their neighbor by watching the life style of Korean people. Moreover, Internet and advertising also influenced people to make much more choose. Everyday they publish several kinds of models which impress consumers greatly. When anyone see a new model dress or other things he would like to buy such things by getting impress. As well, the celebrity activities also responsible for many wishes. People always want to act their favourite person which involved with more choice. One example for these, most of the Indian young generation follow famous celebrity. According to that, they want to wear clothes and shoes like them. It influenced people greatly. To sum up, it is true that nowadays people has many wishes. Due to many effect such as Internet, publicity, technology etc. it is happening.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
currently
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. Due to the effect of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. The effect of Internet and advertising
also
have great influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demand.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
at present. From my point of view, the impact of socialization fall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mind. Earth is improving in every sector. Day by day, development is getting all around. Due to that fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting interested on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. It influenced them
deliberately
. Such as, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of India want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rather
than their neighbor by watching the life style of Korean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Moreover
, Internet and advertising
also
influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much more choose.
'Everyday' is an adjective, and the comma is missing. Did you mean "every day, they"?
Everyday they
publish several kinds of models which impress consumers
greatly
. When anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "sees", "saw".
see
a new model dress or other things he would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such things by getting impress.
As well
, the celebrity activities
also
responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wishes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
always want to act their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
person which involved with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. One example for these, most of the Indian young generation follow
Consider using "celebrity".
famous celebrity
. According to that, they want to wear clothes and shoes like them. It influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
greatly
.

To sum up, it is true that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wishes. Due to
Possible agreement error. The noun effect seems to be countable; consider using: "many effects".
many effect
such as Internet, publicity, technology etc. it is happening.
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IELTS essay Some people think that nowadays we have so many choice.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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