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Nowadays, city-dwellers are more and more concerned about traffic accidents when this problem is increasingly serious in big cities. What are the main causes of this problem? Suggest some solutions.

Nowadays, city-dwellers are more and more concerned about traffic accidents when this problem is increasingly serious in big cities. What are the main causes of this problem? Suggest some solutions. 9YXPn
In today’s society, most people want to live in the city because of its convenience and modernity. However, there are still lots of inconvenient conditions and dangers that cause the city-dwellers’ concern. And one of the most severe problems in many countries is traffic accidents. This writing would examine the main causes of this matter and suggest some solutions. There are two main causes of traffic accidents in big cities. First of all is the involvement of the drunk drivers. Consuming too much alcohol before driving is illegal and extremely dangerous. Many drivers often make the mistake of thinking that if their blood alcohol content is below the legal limit, then they are safe to drive. But the truth is that until their bodies have metabolized the alcohol they have consumed, their sight, motor coordination, and judgment will all suffer from at least some degree of impairment that increases the risk of them getting into a collision. Another reason for this issue is the unsafe road environments, which refer to external factors uncontrollable by drivers, such as visibility impairment by darkness, slippery surface, insufficient safety facilities, inadequately repaired vehicles, pedestrians or other vehicles that suddenly get in the way. To tackle this problem, it is high time timely actions were taken to help minimize the number of traffic accidents in big cities. One alternative is imposing heavier fines at the drivers who exceed the permitted alcohol consumption. Utilising technology and installing devices that detect drunk drivers and lock car ignition can be used to keep people with a track record of drunk driving off the roads. Furthermore, people drivers should be better educated and more careful while behind the wheel. To be more specific, people should learn to obey road rules and respect the other drivers instead of causing tension or submitting to road rage. Last but not least, safer and wider roads should be constructed to make for easier and more comfortable driving. In conclusion, the sooner measures are taken, the lower rate of traffic accidents will be. And of course the city-dwellers' quality of life would also be much better.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience and modernity.
However
, there are
still
lots of inconvenient conditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
that cause the city-dwellers’ concern. And one of the most severe problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. This writing would examine the main causes of this matter and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

There are two main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
is the involvement of the drunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. Consuming too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
driving is illegal and
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the mistake of thinking that if their blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
content is below the legal limit, then they are safe to drive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the truth is that until their bodies have metabolized the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
they have consumed, their sight, motor coordination, and judgment will all suffer from at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree of impairment that increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of them getting into a collision. Another reason for this issue is the unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
environments, which refer to external factors uncontrollable by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, such as visibility impairment by darkness, slippery surface, insufficient safety facilities,
inadequately
repaired vehicles, pedestrians or other vehicles that
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the way.

To tackle this problem, it is high time timely actions
were taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
minimize the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. One alternative is imposing heavier fines at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who exceed the permitted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
consumption.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Utilising' is British English.
Utilising
technology and installing devices that detect drunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and lock car ignition can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
record of drunk driving off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should be better educated and more careful while behind the wheel. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn to obey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and respect the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
instead
of causing tension or submitting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
rage. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, safer and wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
should
be constructed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
for easier and more comfortable driving.

In conclusion
, the sooner measures
are taken
, the lower rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
will be. And
of course
the city-dwellers' quality of life would
also
be much better.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, city-dwellers are more and more concerned about traffic accidents when this problem is increasingly serious in big cities. What are the main causes of this problem? Suggest some solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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