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It is widely acknowledged that family bonds are no longer as tight as they once were. Give some explanations for why this transition occurred and suggest how families might be brought closer together. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

It is widely acknowledged that family bonds are no longer as tight as they once were. Give some explanations for why this transition occurred and suggest how families might be brought closer together. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer. 6pXGj
Family members are mostly considered as the supportive and principal part of a person’s success. However, it is widely acknowledged that family bonds are no longer as tight as they once were. This writing would examine the main causes of this matter and suggest some solutions. There are two main causes of losing connection between members in the family. Firstly, the problem came from the adults’ point of view. Nowadays, they tend to focus on the workplace rather than domestic things. Pressure from the work is already making them exhausted and don’t have time to care about their children. Lots of parents also tend to force their children to do what they want rather than try to understand the kids’ interest. In the long term, this will enlarge the distance betweens family members. Another reason for this issue starts from the children. They become more and more open to share about the stress from schoolworks and other interests with their friends rather than parents or siblings. To tackle this problem, it is high time timely actions were taken to increase family bonds. First of all, family members should spend more time talking to each other and lend a sympathetic ear about others' concerns. A small talk and care while having dinner will definitely improve step by step the understanding about the others. More importantly, activities that family members can do together should also be encouraged. For example, going for a picnic on the weekend or holiday on a special occasion is likely to prolong the time that we can spend with other members. In conclusion, the family bond can only be improved when each member truly wants to know and understand about others so being more open and listening to them is the best key.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
mostly
considered as the supportive and principal part of a person’s success.
However
, it is
widely
acknowledged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds are no longer as tight as they once were. This writing would examine the main causes of this matter and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

There are two main causes of losing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Firstly
, the problem came from the adults’ point of view. Nowadays, they tend to focus on the workplace
rather
than domestic things. Pressure from the work is already making them exhausted and don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to care about their children. Lots of parents
also
tend to force their children to do what they want
rather
than try to understand the kids’ interest. In the long term, this will enlarge the distance
Possible spelling mistake found.
betweens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. Another reason for this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from the children. They become more and more open to share about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolworks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interests with their friends
rather
than parents or siblings.

To tackle this problem, it is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
timely actions
were taken
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
talking to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and lend a sympathetic ear about others' concerns. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
talk and care while having dinner will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
step by step the understanding about the others. More
importantly
, activities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can do together should
also
be encouraged
.
For example
, going for a picnic on the weekend or holiday on a special occasion is likely to prolong the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that we can spend with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
when each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
truly
wants to know and understand about others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
being more open and listening to them is the best key.
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IELTS essay It is widely acknowledged that family bonds are no longer as tight as they once were. Give some explanations for why this transition occurred and suggest how families might be brought closer together. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • It is widely acknowledged that family bonds are no longer as tight as they once were. Give some explanations for why this transition occurred and suggest how families might be brought closer together. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.