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Some people think that New homes need to be built with private outdoor space like gardens,yards ,balconies.Do you think it is advantageous and disadvantages.

Some people think that New homes need to be built with private outdoor space like gardens, yards, balconies. Do you think it is advantageous and disadvantages. MqgG9
It is irrefutable fact that individual believe that their house were built with their personal outdoor space such as garden, balcony. every aspects of life comes with advantage and disadvantage as well. In the forthcoming paragraphs I shall explain both of merits and demerits. Needless to say, every coin have two sides, firstly we start with their demerits. Pupils waste their money to make it luxurious homes for their own personality. they need of security as well such as security guards and CCTV. Although, They don't want to go outside location because they are busy in their own family. they are least connectivity with people. There are numerous merits which cannot be ignored. Firts of all, it provides additional looks of home and more attractive. These features are really beneficial for new generation because nowadays people are too lazy and they busy in their social media and they don't want to participate in any kind of activities like playing and spending time with their loved ones. If garden are available in their own house they don't have any excuse regarding these activities. Moreover, people construct their house with this feature they need to people who take Care of it. they provide employment. Furthermore, to continue with same school of thought, in this corona padamic there was a completely lockdown. people are not able to go outside for walking, playing and spend time in under the sky. In this time, these house plays a pivotal role in their life. From all aforementioned, to sum up with, people least interact with society becuse they busy in their own family. However, it makes our complication easy because we easily do their activities at their home. My take on this it's a good idea it have lots of benefits and we have chance to provide employment and we involve in more and more activities.
It is irrefutable fact
The verb 'believe' is plural. Did you mean: "that individual believes"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that individual believe
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
were built
with their personal outdoor space such as garden, balcony.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
of life
You should probably use "come".
comes
with advantage and disadvantage
as well
. In the forthcoming paragraphs I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both of merits and demerits.

Needless to say, every coin have two sides,
firstly
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with their demerits. Pupils waste their money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it luxurious homes for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personality.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
need of security
as well
such as security guards and CCTV. Although, They don't want to go outside location
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
connectivity with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There are numerous merits which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Firts
of all, it provides additional looks of home and more attractive. These features are
really
beneficial for new generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lazy and
they busy in their social
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
media and
they don't want to participate in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like playing and spending time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
garden are available in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
they don't have any excuse regarding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
construct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with this feature they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take Care of it. they provide employment.

Furthermore
, to continue with same school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, in this corona
Possible spelling mistake found.
padamic
there was a
You used an adverb ('completely') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('lockdown') instead of another adjective.
completely lockdown
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
are not able to go outside for walking, playing and spend time in under the sky. In this time, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
plays a pivotal role in their life.

From all aforementioned, to sum up with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
least interact with society
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuse
they busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our complication easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
easily
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at their home. My take on this it's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
it
Did you mean "has"?
have
lots of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
benefits and
we have chance to provide
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employment and
we involve in more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that New homes need to be built with private outdoor space like gardens, yards, balconies. Do you think it is advantageous and disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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