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Coca-Cola prices in world and various continents

Coca-Cola prices in world and various continents mXogN
The pie chart shows the percentage of total volume of Coco-Cola’s unit case volume by region in 2000. And line graph depicts the price of this fizzy drink in dollar from 1996 to 2001. The global consumption of Coca-Cola is 17. 1 bn. This fizzy drink is consumed most in North America that is 30. 4%. Latin America also fairly contributes in the consumption by 25. 7%. Europe and Asia are consuming 20. 5% and 16. 4% respectively. The least consuming continents are Africa and Middle East together at just 7. 0%. In 1996, the price of Coca-Cola was $35, which later drastically increased to approx. $65 in 1997. There was a fall in price from 1997 to 1998 to $55. Then again, a sudden upward movement from 1998 to 1999 was seen. Price was highest ever seen at $85. Later from 1999 till 2000 prices fell gradually at $45, which was lowest since 1996. Till mid 2000 the prices were rising and fell again in 2001 at $55.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of total volume of Coco-Cola’s unit case volume by region in 2000. And line graph depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of this fizzy drink in dollar from 1996 to 2001.

The global consumption of Coca-Cola is 17. 1
Possible spelling mistake found.
bn
. This fizzy drink
is consumed
most in North America
that is
30. 4%. Latin America
also
fairly
contributes in the consumption by 25. 7%. Europe and Asia are consuming 20. 5% and 16. 4%
respectively
. The least consuming continents are Africa and Middle East together at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
7. 0%.

In 1996, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of Coca-Cola was $35, which later
drastically
increased to approx. $65 in 1997. There was a fall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
from 1997 to 1998 to $55. Then again, a sudden upward movement from 1998 to 1999 was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Price
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at $85. Later
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1999 to 2000"?
from 1999 till 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
fell
gradually
at $45, which was lowest since 1996. Till mid 2000 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
were rising and fell again in 2001 at $55.
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IELTS essay Coca-Cola prices in world and various continents

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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