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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion BJm99
In the salad days of millennium. Society is polerized into two different groups equally regarding the nation. That whether, that some people believe music play important role SUGGESTION the music play important role in society but other some believe it is just a form of entertainment. Every people have their different mindsets so in following paragraphs we discuss both approaches before making final note. To commence with first opinion, their is myriad things share in its favour. Firstly music is a form of joy and tied with emotions as resuly music heals our mind and reduce stress. If a person is in bad situation or under some kind of pressure music help him to get peace of mind. Secondly music of society or country reflect its traditions, culture and history. For example national anthem is a form of musix and reversed by all countrymen and inspires peoples. Further more, after listening music usually people try ro follow their favorite artists. As result it give social impact. Shifting towards second through of school, today music companies make music just to entertain people. People listen music in parties, nightclubs and weddings to dance and enjoy themselves. People listen music on youtube, apple music app and on other app to relax throughout all the day. Any individual don't think deeply about the lyrics. Also do not make any questions about actions and attitude. Seconsly some traditional music focus on social problems but now music lyrics has not make any kind of sense. Having discussing the arguments and counter argument i would like to infer that music play an important role in society and aslo entertain people in number of ways
In the salad days of millennium.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
polerized
into two
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different
groups
equally
regarding the nation. That whether, that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role

SUGGESTION

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
role


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a form of entertainment.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindsets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in following paragraphs we discuss both approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making final note.

To commence with
first
opinion,
Did you mean "there"?
their
is myriad things share in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a form of joy and tied with emotions as
Possible spelling mistake found.
resuly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
heals our mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. If a person is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation or under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
peace of mind.
Secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or country reflect its traditions, culture and history.
For example
national anthem is a form of
Possible spelling mistake found.
musix
and reversed by all countrymen and inspires peoples.

Further
more, after listening
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music
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try
Possible spelling mistake found.
ro
follow their favorite artists.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
The comma is probably missing here: "result, it".
result it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
social impact.

Shifting towards second through of school,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in parties, nightclubs and weddings to dance and enjoy themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
, apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
app and on other app to relax throughout all the day. Any individual don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deeply
about the lyrics.
Also
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any questions about actions and attitude.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seconsly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
focus on social problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lyrics has not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "made".
make
any kind of sense.

Having discussing the arguments and counter argument
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to infer that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in number of ways
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IELTS essay Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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