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Many people prefer to communicate with their online friends than to socialize with people in their local communities. Do you think it has more advantages than disadvantages?

Many people prefer to communicate with their online friends than to socialize with people in their local communities. Do you think it has more advantages than disadvantages? g5yEa
Online communication is gaining popularity nowadays. It is noticeable that a increasing number of people are more willing to engage with online friends rather than persons around them. This essay will discuss why its disadvantages outweigh advantages. Certainly, making friends online has its benefits. Firstly, our views could be broadened through communicating with people from all over the world. We could be exposed to people from various cultures, regions, with different religious beliefs and colors, which is a preasured experience that could be hardly obtained by socializing with our own communities. Moreover, online communication is with far more effectiveness than real life physical engagement. For example, we have sufficient time to organize our sentences before sending them to online friends, thus possibilities of misunderstanding are reduced and effectiveness of communication is promoted. However, outstanding negative impacts of online friends should not be overlooked. One disadvantage would be that some people online are more unreliable than persons we know in real life. Because of the nature of the internet, people could pretend themselves as a completely different person with totally different personalities. For example, a piece of recent Chinese news shows that a young male, in order to date several girls at the same time, set up five social media accounts to communicate with them. Furthermore, too much online communication will lead to a lack of physical contacts due to less face to face conversations. It has been proved that a certain amount of physical contacts could help human beings maintain a healthy body and mental state, as human could obtain a sense of security and happiness through hand-shaking, cuddling, etc. Therefore, if people spent all their spare time online making friends, they might suffer from mental illnesses in the future. The last but not the least, focusing on online friends will undermine real life social skills. It is impossible to complete all daily tasks through the internet, which means eventually people need to be equipped with a certain level of interpersonal skills so that they could effectively communicate with others such as their landlord and doctors. Without those essential social skills, it will be hard to live a satisfied life only in the digital world. In conclusion, it is acknowledged that there is a trend viewing online friends as more important than people in local communities. This essay demonstrated why the negative impacts are far more significant than its benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is gaining popularity nowadays. It is noticeable that
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more willing to engage with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
rather
than persons around them. This essay will discuss why its disadvantages outweigh advantages.

Certainly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has its benefits.
Firstly
, our views could
be broadened
through communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world. We could
be exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various cultures, regions, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religious beliefs and colors, which is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
preasured
experience that could be hardly obtained by socializing with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
communities.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is with far more effectiveness than real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
physical engagement.
For example
, we have sufficient time to organize our sentences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
thus
possibilities of misunderstanding are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is promoted
.

However
, outstanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
should not
be overlooked
. One disadvantage would be that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are more unreliable than persons we know in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the nature of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could pretend themselves as a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
person with
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities.
For example
, a piece of recent Chinese news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a young male, in order to date several girls at the same time, set up five social media accounts to communicate with them.

Furthermore
, too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
will lead to a lack of physical contacts due to less face to face conversations. It has
been proved
that a certain amount of physical contacts could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
human beings maintain a healthy body and mental state, as human could obtain a sense of security and happiness through hand-shaking, cuddling, etc.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent all their spare time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, they might suffer from mental illnesses in the future.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
will undermine real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It is impossible to complete all daily tasks through the internet, which means
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
be equipped
with a certain level of interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could
effectively
communicate with others such as their landlord and doctors. Without those essential social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the digital world.

In conclusion
, it
is acknowledged
that there is a trend viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in local communities. This essay demonstrated why the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts are far more significant than its benefits.
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IELTS essay Many people prefer to communicate with their online friends than to socialize with people in their local communities. Do you think it has more advantages than disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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