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Some people think that music brings culture or age together .......

Some people think that music brings culture or age together. . . . . . . MoAaQ
There are numerous benefits of music in various cultures and different age group people because music is listened by worldwide. A group of people think that music is better way to strong their bonds with other persons and traditions. This essay intends to discuss the benifits of this and also highlight my view point. To begin with, Music have many merits and benefits. However, Some people believe in music because music is the only resource which obtain feelings in one person for anthor person at any moment and it also combine the culture of two distict nation. To illustrate, Music is played in any occasion like weddings, Birthdays and so on. While, when music is played in ceremony like function then feeling between that couples are automatically develop which proves that music connect two souls together. Secondly, people listen foreign songs no matter they do not understand those songs as much but they play for feel better. However, Individual know about the background of the foreigners through the music. At last it is seemed that music have many benefits. Probing furthur, I agree with this discussion in very large extent because i belive music have manu powers which control human behaviour at any time. Therefore, i observed that there are different types of music in every country but mostly youngsters like pop or dancing music however elder people prefered to listen cultural or traditional songs. Furthur more, There are many songs which are related to our background and histroy of their country when anthor country people listen these songs then they can obeserve and think about country culture. To wrap up, It is lucid from above discussion that Music is important in every country or in every field because it is the only way to connect with other persons
There are numerous benefits of
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music
in various cultures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age group
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is listened
by worldwide. A group of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a better".
better
way to strong their bonds with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
and traditions. This essay intends to discuss the
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
of this and
also
highlight my view point. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits and benefits.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
resource which obtain feelings in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
anthor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
at any moment and it
also
Did you mean "combines"?
combine
the culture of two
Possible spelling mistake found.
distict
nation. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is played
in any occasion like weddings, Birthdays and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. While, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is played
in ceremony like function then feeling between that couples are
automatically
Consider using a past participle here: "developed".
develop
which proves that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
connect two souls together.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen foreign songs no matter they do not understand those songs as much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they play for feel better.
However
, Individual know about the background of the foreigners through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. At
The comma is probably missing here: "last, it".
last it
is seemed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. Probing
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthur
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this discussion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
i
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
manu
powers which control human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
at any time.
Therefore
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
observed that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
youngsters like pop or dancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
however
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to listen cultural or traditional songs.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthur
more, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
songs which
are related
to our background and
Possible spelling mistake found.
histroy
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
when
Possible spelling mistake found.
anthor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen these songs then they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
obeserve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
culture. To wrap up, It is lucid from above discussion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or in every field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to connect with other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
persons
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IELTS essay Some people think that music brings culture or age together. . . . . . .

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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