Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.5

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. with this opinion? v. 5
Nowadays, the debate whether a sense of competition in children should be encouraged or is it better just to co-operate has caused a ruckus among myriads of students and teachers. Typically, almost everything in our world has its perks yet is overshadowed by its drastic intolerable negative aspects! Those who are in favour of competing believe that it will motivate the children to do their best as they are comparing themselves with others; however opponents disagree-claiming that co-operating helps in raising more useful and mature adults. The question is which of both sides of the coin is better? This essay will discuss both views and I will reveal about which side do I belong to. Extremely biased to my point of view even if I may catch flak from supporters. Regarding this disputatious issue, there is a vast plethora of pros for cooperation. First and foremost, team working is the bedrock of success. For example, if a pupil was struggling, because he could not understand a specific question, his classmate would not definitely hesitate to help him. Not only will it create a healthy environment around full of friendship and kindness, but it will also motivate students who get an unsatisfactory score to cope with it achieve better grades. It should be mentioned that instead of mocking at him, these helpful classmates should undeniably go the extra mile for him until he reaches to his goal. These are lagniappes that hordes of people, whether 7, 17 or 70 will be reluctant to lose. With emphasis to my opinion, despite the obvious positives, one cannot turn a blind eye on the incontestable negatives. The first and the most salient drawback of competing is that children must have to keep comparing themselves by their classmate which may even cause depression. It cannot be denied that constantly feeling that you are not as perfect as others, you will always lack self confidence and striving to reach to a specific student's level. On the other hand, I acquiesce that each person should strive to reach their zenith of success and not to copy anyone. Furthermore, unhealthy rivalry can be created. For example, if a group always wins, another group may try to push them downwards to get the prize! To take all points into consideration, I have a resolute unwavering advocate that the merits of cooperation outweigh the benefits of competition, because not only will it ignite their sense of love towards each other, but it will also develop their academic level. On the other side, there is a thorn for every flower so I personally recommend having small competitions among students to be coerced to interact. Lastly among my classmates, cooperation is highly voted!
Nowadays, the debate whether a sense of competition in children should
be encouraged
or is it better
just
to co-operate has caused a ruckus among myriads of students and teachers.
Typically
, almost everything in our world has its perks
yet
is overshadowed
by its drastic intolerable
negative
aspects! Those who are in
favour
of competing believe that it will motivate the children to do their best as they are comparing themselves with others;
however
opponents disagree-claiming that co-operating
helps
in raising more useful and mature adults. The question is which of both sides of the coin is better? This essay will discuss both views and I will reveal about which side do I belong to.

Extremely
biased to my point of view even if I may catch flak from supporters. Regarding this disputatious issue, there is a vast plethora of pros for cooperation.
First
and foremost, team working is the bedrock of success.
For example
, if a pupil was struggling,
because
he could not understand a specific question, his
classmate
would not definitely hesitate to
help
him. Not
only
will it create a healthy environment around full of friendship and kindness,
but
it will
also
motivate students who
get
an unsatisfactory score to cope with it achieve better grades. It should
be mentioned
that
instead
of mocking at him, these helpful
classmates
should
undeniably
go the extra mile for him until he reaches to his goal. These are lagniappes that hordes of
people
, whether 7, 17 or 70 will be reluctant to lose.

With emphasis to my opinion, despite the obvious positives, one cannot turn a blind eye on the incontestable negatives. The
first
and the most salient drawback of competing is that children
must
have to
keep
comparing themselves by their
classmate
which may even cause depression. It cannot
be denied
that
constantly
feeling that you are not as perfect as others, you will always lack
self confidence
and striving to reach to a specific student's level. On the
other
hand, I acquiesce that each person should strive to reach their zenith of success and not to copy anyone.
Furthermore
, unhealthy rivalry can
be created
.
For example
, if a group always wins, another group may try to push them downwards to
get
the prize!

To take all points into consideration, I have a resolute unwavering advocate that the merits of cooperation outweigh the benefits of competition,
because
not
only
will it ignite their sense of
love
towards each
other
,
but
it will
also
develop their academic level. On the
other
side, there is a thorn for every flower
so
I
personally
recommend having
small
competitions among students to
be coerced
to interact.
Lastly
among my
classmates
, cooperation is
highly
voted!
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. with this opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
451 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts