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Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. with this opinion? v. 3
It is sometimes argued that museums and art galleries need to place great emphasis on the history and art of their own nation instead of the works of art of other countries. In my opinion, both types of category should be equally underlined by these sectors. In order to raise the public awareness of their past, museums and art galleries alike should focus on gathering the local artefacts. Local people should be made aware of their ancient sculpture, subscriptions, and antiques as all of these are essential for their national identity. In this way, we can also pave the way for younger generations to get to know their ancestral legacy. British National Museum can be a good example of this because many British schoolchildren go there. They can be given an ideal opportunity to have a good grasp of their own entity. Therefore, collection of the local artefacts should be one of the top priorities of museums and art galleries. As well as the native works of art, the art sector should focus on the art of other countries since it can encourage international tourism. If a museum take concrete actions to gather artefacts from far-flung corners of the world, it may establish a reputation in this matter. Consequently, many tourists may be tempted to visit the museum since they are likely to find an antique of their own country. It can be seen that Louvre museum, which is located in Paris, attracts millions of tourists annually simply because it is renowned for the collection of different kinds of art from faraway places around the globe. In conclusion, I would argue that both local and international art collection should be on the agenda because they play an indispensable role in helping the locals’ identity and tourism, respectively.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries need to place great emphasis on the history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation
instead
of the works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of other countries. In my opinion, both types of category should be
equally
underlined by these sectors.

In order to raise the public awareness of their past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries alike should focus on gathering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be made
aware of their ancient sculpture, subscriptions, and antiques as all of these are essential for their national identity. In this way, we can
also
pave the way for younger generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know their ancestral legacy. British National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
British schoolchildren go there. They can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an ideal opportunity to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grasp of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
entity.
Therefore
, collection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
should be one of the top priorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries.

As well
as the native works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
sector should focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of other countries since it can encourage international tourism. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
take concrete actions to gather
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
from far-flung corners of the world, it may establish a reputation in this matter.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists may
be tempted
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
since they are likely to find an antique of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Louvre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, which
is located
in Paris, attracts millions of tourists
annually
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is renowned
for the collection of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
from faraway places around the globe.

In conclusion
, I would argue that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
collection should be on the agenda
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they play an indispensable role in helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals’
identity and tourism,
respectively
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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