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Medicine can be too expensive for some people. Suggest three ways the government could help these people to stay healthy. Which is your preference option v.1

Medicine can be too expensive for some people. Suggest three ways the government could help these people to stay healthy. Which is your preference option v. 1
It is true that the price tag of drugs is putting increasing pressure on poor people. While, other people believe that there many other ways government could actively do to help these people lead a healthy lifestyle. Governments can play an active role in ensuring the poor family to lead a healthy lifestyle in three main ways. Firstly, since many people, especially those coming from impoverished families, fail to pay for medical care, the financial support of the ministry is a great supporting for their life. In fact, the payment of medication, treatment or healthcare services is prohibitively expensive to some people. Therefore, the financial aid from the authority could save many human lives. Secondly, the states can provide medicine free for the poor people because they have already paid a huge tax for these facilities. Moreover, health is the essential services and they are the basic right of human beings. For example, the World Health Organization raised a slogan of “ health for all” in 1977 and since then it becomes a binding to all the nations. Thirdly, It is essential to lower overall health care cost because the government controls the prices through negotiation an regulation. For example, Malaysia government has imposed a law, which save 65% to 80% on health care cost and still receive a good health care services for their citizen, especially the poor people. That are three suggestions for the national governments to take responsibility for their residents’ well-being. In my opinion, the best option is the first one because when the authority sponsors for the medical price tag, the government is able to fulfil the responsibilities of its citizen. Since, the residents have paid taxes to the national budget. Thus, they are entitled for their basic rights, including health and no one is left behind, especially the poverty people. At the result, it will reduce an unnecessary burden on the poverty family. In conclusion, I believe that the full sponsorship of the government health care playslays an important role to ensure the comprehensive development of the socie
It is true that the price tag of drugs is putting increasing pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "ways'" or "way's"?
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
actively
do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lead a healthy lifestyle.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can play an active role in ensuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
family to lead a healthy lifestyle in three main ways.
Firstly
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
those coming from impoverished families, fail to pay for medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, the financial support of the ministry is a great supporting for their life. In fact, the payment of medication, treatment or healthcare services is
prohibitively
expensive to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, the financial aid from the authority could save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
, the states can provide medicine free for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have already paid a huge tax for these facilities.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the essential
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
services and
they are the basic right of human beings.
For example
, the World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Organization raised a slogan of
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for all” in 1977 and since then it becomes a binding to all the nations.
Thirdly
, It is essential to lower
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
controls the prices through negotiation
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
regulation.
For example
, Malaysia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has imposed a law, which save 65% to 80% on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
cost and
still
receive a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services for their citizen,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That are three suggestions for the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to take responsibility for their residents’ well-being.

In my opinion, the best option is the
first
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the authority sponsors for the medical price tag, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is able to fulfil the responsibilities of its citizen.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, the residents have paid taxes to the national budget.
Thus
, they
are entitled
for their basic rights, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and no one is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind,
especially
the poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. At the result, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
an unnecessary burden on the poverty family.

In conclusion
, I believe that the full sponsorship of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake found.
playslays
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to ensure the comprehensive development of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socie
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Medicine can be too expensive for some people. Suggest three ways the government could help these people to stay healthy. Which is your preference option v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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