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Some people think that more money should spent on protecting endangered species while other think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Some people think that more money should spent on protecting endangered species while other think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion? 2mxk
Few species are in the stage of extinction and by spending money we could preserve them from vanishing. A few people believe that throwing money to reserve those breeds is invaluable, in contrast, few public have an opinion that spending money would save the genus from extinction. In my perspective, it is highly critical to preserve the species in the danger stage. Healthy ecosystem depends on the plant and animal species, in addition, there are more medical aspects to preserving the animals and plants. Our ecosystem is made of plants, animals and other organisms, if anyone of these species is in danger, it will affect the other species which is related to that species as a result we can face an imbalance in our ecosystem. To illustrate this the number of Grey-wolf was reduced drastically in the last few years due to the fact of hunting, as a consequence the number of the beaver also decreased. consequently this will cause a blank space in our ecosystem. Furthermore, We are getting most of our medicine from herbs and plants, we have researched only five percent of the plants in the wild and even in that five percent we have more medicinal values. According to William Drake, a well-known environmentalist said that most of the plant species were extinct and remaining valuable plants are at the stage of extinction. Conservation of plants in forest can help us to develop a healthy ecosystem, due to the fact, about 70%of the oxygen we breathe are from the Amazon forest. Due to the recent forest fire 15% percent of the trees were vanished as a result oxygen content in the environment was reduced. So I think we can have this as a main reason to spend a plethora of money to preserve the endangered plant species. To conclude, it is essential to preserve the plants and animals in the final stage of extinction and should spend money to undertake those species with a lot more care.
Few species are in the stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
and by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserve
them from vanishing. A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that throwing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to reserve those breeds is invaluable,
in contrast
, few public have an opinion that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would save the genus from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. In my perspective, it is
highly
critical to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserve
the species in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
stage.

Healthy ecosystem depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species,
in addition
, there are more medical aspects to preserving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
. Our ecosystem
is made
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and other organisms, if anyone of these species is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, it will affect the other species which
is related
to that species
as a result
we can face an imbalance in our ecosystem. To illustrate this the number of Grey-wolf was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
drastically
in the last few years due to the fact of hunting, as a consequence the number of the beaver
also
decreased.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
this will cause a blank space in our ecosystem.

Furthermore
, We are getting most of our medicine from herbs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
, we have researched
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
in the wild and even in that five percent we have more medicinal values. According to William Drake, a well-known environmentalist said that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species were extinct and remaining valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are at the stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. Conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
in forest can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to develop a healthy ecosystem, due to the fact, about 70%of the oxygen we breathe are from the Amazon forest. Due to the recent forest fire 15% percent of the trees
were vanished
as a result
oxygen content in the environment was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can have this as a main reason to spend a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserve
the endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species.

To conclude
, it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the final stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
and should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to undertake those species with a lot more care.
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IELTS essay Some people think that more money should spent on protecting endangered species while other think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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