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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? nleE
The world has come closer with the use of technology making things easily available at a click. Purchasing things online is an option many choose while being in the comfort of their homes/ offices. There are many merits to this like availability of products, tickets, and even groceries at a discounted prices and they supersede the demerits of physically visiting shops in search of the things and books we need. First of all, shopping on the Internet has its own advantages. Products like clothing, books, and other items are available with a single click at discounted prices. you can compare, check the quality before ordering. Even after the delivery of the item, if the customer is unhappy with the product, they can return the same without any hassle. Flight tickets are available at competitive prices and with no travel agent fees, which otherwise proves to be costly. For instance, In the period of the global pandemic, when people were afraid to go out to purchase the daily necessities items this online method proved to be safe for everybody globally. Secondly, people can search and order the products they need from any part of the world. This helps in raising the economy of the country by means of international trade. For example, earlier people used to ask their friends and family members to get some stuff while travelling abroad, now they can order whatever they need from their mobiles/ computers or i-pads with no compromise on the quality of the product and many online sites offer the free delivery option as well. With online shopping in place, there are few researchers, who believe that the impact of online shopping has directly affected the regular round-the-corner shop. As there are few people walking-in for shopping, and not finding what they are looking for, and returning empty-handed. The limitation of space and products to keep results in loss of business and reducing their customer base and profits at large. In conclusion, the use of the internet has brought the world closer and has proven to be a boon in times of global crisis with its popularity increasing day-by-day.
The world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology making things
easily
available at a click. Purchasing things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is an option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choose while being in the comfort of their homes/ offices. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits to this like availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, tickets, and even groceries at a discounted
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prices and
they supersede the demerits of
physically
visiting shops in search of the things and books we need.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Products
like clothing, books, and other items are available with a single click at discounted prices.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
can compare,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ordering. Even after the delivery of the item, if the customer is unhappy with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, they can return the same without any hassle. Flight tickets are available at competitive prices and with no travel agent fees, which
otherwise
proves to be costly.
For instance
, In the period of the global pandemic, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were afraid to go out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the daily necessities items this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
method proved to be safe for everybody globally.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can search and order the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they need from any part of the world. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in raising the economy of the country by means of international trade.
For example
, earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to ask their friends and family members to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stuff while travelling abroad,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they can order whatever they need from their mobiles/ computers or i-pads with no compromise on the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sites offer the free delivery option
as well
.

With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in place, there are few researchers, who believe that the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the regular round-the-corner shop. As there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
walking-in for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, and not finding what they are looking for, and returning empty-handed. The limitation of space and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
results in loss of business and reducing their customer base and profits at large.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet has brought the world closer and has proven to be a boon in times of global crisis with its popularity increasing day-by-day.

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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