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Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Since the beginning of the 21st century, a lot of animals are exposed to the extinction. Some people believe that more money shoud be spent to protect the endangered species from the extinction, while others argue that there are others issues more important than these animals, and the money should be spent on them, such as helping people who are suffering from wars. This essay will discuss the reason why money should be spent on these endangered species regardless the importance of other issues. Money should be spent on the endangered species because these animals are very important to balance the ecosystem. The damage of the ecosystem will affect significantly on humans lives in the future. Recent research, which was conducted in the Washington University, has shown that killing the endangered species will cause the disappearing of humans lives in the near future, and it recommends to fund the projects which are responsible on protecting these species. Therefore, it seems clear that money should be spent on protecting endangered species to maintain the balance in the ecosystem. On the other hand, some people think that money should be spent on other issues, such helping people who are suffering from wars. Some people do not have anything to eat, and these people have the priority than the endangered species. For example, more than one million people die every year because of wars. But, these people are unaware of the fact that the extinction of endangered species could affect our world also, and it is impact is greater than wars. Thus, mony should be spent to help endangered species from extinction regardless the impacts of wars. In conclusion, this essay discussed the reason why money should be paid to the organizations who follow endangered species since it is important to balace the ecosystem. In my opinion, I believe that the endangered animals should be protected from the extinction.
Since the beginning of the 21st century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are exposed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
, while others argue that there are others issues more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on them, such as helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
. This essay will discuss the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species regardless the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to balance the ecosystem.

The
The usual collocation for the word “damage” is “to”, not “of”.
damage of
the ecosystem will affect
significantly
on humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future. Recent research, which
was conducted
in the Washington University, has shown that killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species will cause the disappearing of humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the near future, and it
The verb ‘recommends’ is used with the gerund form: “recommends funding”.
recommends to fund
the projects which are responsible on protecting these species.
Therefore
, it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species to maintain the balance in the ecosystem.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues, such helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have anything to eat, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the priority than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species.
For example
, more than one million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species could affect our world
also
, and it is impact is greater than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mony
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
regardless the impacts of wars.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be paid
to the organizations who follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species since it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
balace
the ecosystem. In my opinion, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be protected
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.

IELTS essay Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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