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Some people think that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefits of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong.

Over centuries humans have experimented with many different chemicals, products, and processes, with the final aim of bettering our conditions. Testing products on animals most likely dates back centuries, however, in modern society it is a controversial point. Below is an outline of circumstances when it could be considered acceptable and unacceptable. Firstly, it is clear that major advances in fighting disease, viruses and illnesses would not have been made without testing products on animals. This is because it is inhumane to test the products on healthy human beings, likewise using computer modelling to predict reactions is only a recent possibility and still not as reliable as testing on animals. Therefore without experiments on animals, breakthroughs in medicine would have been impossible, and most would agree the price paid has been worth it. Conversely, it could be argued that medical research carried out for mere cosmetic ends is undoubtedly not worth the lives of innocent animals. This is largely for two reasons, firstly a large body of research is said to have been built up previously from past experiments, and secondly there are alternatives such as dermatological testing or using natural ingredients. For example, retail chains such as Lush and The Body Shop have both made fortunes by positioning themselves as natural solutions against animal testing. Therefore due to the end rationale for testing on animals, and the alternatives available, it is clear it is completely unjustifiable in this situation. To conclude animal welfare can be side-stepped when the situation is threatening humans and computer alternatives are simply too premature. Nevertheless, when the research has rather fickle motives and viable alternatives do exist, in these cases the loss of animal’s lives in inexcusable.
Over centuries humans have experimented with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
chemicals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and processes, with the final aim of bettering our conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Testing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
most likely dates back centuries,
however
, in modern society it is a controversial point. Below is an outline of circumstances when it could
be considered
acceptable and unacceptable.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that major advances in fighting disease, viruses and illnesses would not have
been made
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is inhumane to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on healthy human beings,
likewise
using computer modelling to predict reactions is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a recent possibility and
still
not as reliable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
without experiments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, breakthroughs in medicine would have been impossible, and most would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the price paid has been worth it.

Conversely
, it could
be argued
that medical research carried out for mere cosmetic ends is
undoubtedly
not worth the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is
largely
for two reasons,
firstly
a large body of research
is said
to have
been built
up previously from past experiments, and
secondly
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
such as dermatological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
or using natural ingredients.
For example
, retail chains such as Lush and The Body Shop have both made fortunes by positioning themselves as natural solutions against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
rationale for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
available, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
it is completely unjustifiable in this situation.

To conclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
welfare can be side-stepped when the situation is threatening humans and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
are
simply
too premature.
Nevertheless
, when the research has
rather
fickle motives and viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
do exist, in these cases the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in inexcusable.

IELTS essay Some people think that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefits of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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