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Many people think that spending a lot for weddings is a waste of money. Others think it is important in individuals’ life and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People diverge on their views concerning what is spent on some celebrations. A school of thought thinks marking such occasions amounts to squandering money while another feels the significance of such ceremonies to people and the society makes the celebrations worthy. Though there are some valid arguments on both sides, I feel the former view wins it as I will explain below. On the one hand, ceremonies like weddings are done once in a lifetime and this body of opinion thinks no amount of money spent should be considered outrageous. These are occasions of high calibre and class defined, for example, by the wedding attires of the bride and groom, quality of meals and drinks, which usually make the occasion indelible in the memory of people. Besides, others like birthdays have some religious and traditional implications and it is mandatory in some families that they are marked with splendour and make it elaborate and colourful. On the other hand, birthdays and weddings are not only about merrymaking. This school of thought believe life after the party is what defines the matrimony, not the lavish spendings at the events. They argue that the parties are tantamount to throwing money, which would have been better channelled into planning for the future of the couple, away. Though the other side of the argument may retort that the events are marked once a while, it appears they are oblivious of the sufferings of many after marriage due to immodest spendings on these occasions. For instance, my cousin lived on friends and family members for many years after spending all his fortune on his wedding on the basis of being a once-a-lifetime event for him. In conclusion, while some events like birthdays and marriage ceremonies may be of significance to people and the society as defining their statuses or cultures, I consider them acts of wastefulness as they have led many families to penury.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
diverge on their views concerning what
is spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebrations. A school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
marking such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
amounts to squandering money while another feels the significance of such ceremonies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the celebrations worthy. Though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid arguments on both sides, I feel the former view wins it as I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
below.

On the one hand, ceremonies like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are done
once in a lifetime and this body of opinion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
no amount of money spent should
be considered
outrageous. These are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
of high
Possible spelling mistake. ‘calibre’ is British English.
calibre
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
defined,
for example
, by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
attires of the bride and groom, quality of meals and drinks, which
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
indelible in the memory of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
, others like birthdays have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religious and traditional
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
implications and
it is mandatory in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families that they
are marked
with
Possible spelling mistake. ‘splendour’ is British English.
splendour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it elaborate and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘colourful’ is British English.
colourful
.

On the other hand
, birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about merrymaking. This school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believe life after the party is what defines the matrimony, not the lavish
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings at
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. They argue that the parties are tantamount to throwing money, which would have been better channelled into planning for the future of the couple, away. Though the other side of the argument may retort that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are marked
once a while, it appears they are oblivious of the sufferings of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
after marriage due to immodest
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings on
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
.
For instance
, my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
on friends and family members for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years after spending all his fortune on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
on the basis of being a once-a-lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
for him.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like birthdays and marriage ceremonies may be of significance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the society as defining their statuses or cultures, I consider them acts of wastefulness as they have led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families to penury.

IELTS essay Many people think that spending a lot for weddings is a waste of money. Others think it is important in individuals’ life and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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