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Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Advertisement topics always remains a debate among peoples. However, it is believed by some citizens that advertising has a beneficial impact on trades and the population whilst rest of them opine that it has a negative repercussion. I tend to evaluate both aspects prior to rendering my point of view. To embark with the advantages, firstly, it helps the person to escalate their knowledge by providing the enormous type of adds such as educational and work-related. Even though sometimes they get an opportunity for better careers. people use to get more aware of their health by watching advertisements related to health and safety. Secondly, Pre-owned owners have much life easier to uplift their project in a short period of time which allows gaining profit for businessmen and the Government too by implementing more taxes. As an evidence, a company launch two brand new products and get marketing done for only one. As a result, the item which is in the market gets skyrocket value by 60% higher sale as compared to another. Like a coin on the flip side, some are against it due to their bad influence. It encourages children to buy an expensive product which leads them to modern life. They build pressure on their families to purchase for them. Not all of them can afford it easily. Moreover, offspring get distracted from their studies by keep thinking every time about a new item. For example – Science has proved that minor ages are more attractive towards different ads which give us an overall bad result as being stubborn. Furthermore, Businesses are facing an extreme level of challenges after showing their products in the market. At the end, recapitulating all aspects, I would like to conclude by saying that it provides more merits for business owners and citizens by providing better options to opt for products, future careers, economic gain. Nevertheless, Negative advertise should be forbidden and can not be run on social media.
Advertisement topics always
It seems that the correct verb form here is “remain”.
remains
a debate among peoples.
However
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens that advertising has a beneficial impact on trades and the population whilst rest of them opine that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
repercussion. I tend to evaluate both aspects prior to rendering my point of view.

To embark with the advantages,
firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the person to escalate their knowledge by providing the enormous type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
such as educational and work-related.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity for better careers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
people
Make sure that ‘use to’ is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean ‘accustomed to’, use “used to”.
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more aware of their health by watching advertisements related to health and safety.

Secondly
, Pre-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
owners have much life easier to uplift their project in a short period of time which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
gaining profit for businessmen and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
too by implementing more taxes. As an evidence, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
launch two
‘brand new’ seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: “brand-new”.
brand new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
marketing done for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one.
As a result
, the item which is in the market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
skyrocket value by 60% higher sale as compared to another.

Like a coin on the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are against it due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence. It encourages children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which leads them to modern life. They build pressure on their families to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
for them. Not all of them can afford it
easily
.
Moreover
, offspring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from their studies by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
thinking every time about a new item.
For example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Science has proved that minor ages are more attractive towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ads which give us an
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
result as being stubborn.
Furthermore
, Businesses are facing an extreme level of challenges after showing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, recapitulating all aspects, I would like
to conclude
by saying that it provides more merits for business owners and citizens by providing better options to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, future careers, economic gain.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
advertise should
be forbidden
and can not
be run
on social media.

IELTS essay Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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