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Some people think that money is the most important factor which motivates people to work better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that money is the most important factor which motivates people to work better. 2KRKA
It is universally believed that in oder to encourage people to work productively, money is the potential key. From my point of view, despite my agreement, there are various things are more crucial than it. On the one hand, a large number of benefits offers to individuals when they are received much salaries. First and foremost, the dramatic increasing of life standard has entailed the high living cost. Hence, the more money they can get, the more effective they work. For example, for those who are the sole breadwinners, it would be an enormous motivation for them to have extra money as a present after many days working hard in terms of supporting their life fully and meeting their basic needs. Moreover, it also helps them to finish their duties sucessfully. On the other hand, I also maintain my opinion that money is not the best choice to inspire workers. To begin with, there is no denying that emotion plays an pivotal role in motivating workers. Should they own satisfied and comfortable feeling, it seems to be better when it comes to having productive working. According to the newest survey, it shows that more than 80% of employers are likely to finish their heavy workloads earlier and more successful if they are not under any pressure or tense atmosphere especially having a good relationship with their managers and colleagues. As a result, without doubt, being given compliments will be better than all other motivators. In conclusion, it can not be denied that sympathy, friendly along with numerous compliments appears to outweigh money in regards to encouraging people working energetically.
It is
universally
believed that in
oder
to encourage
people
to work
productively
,
money
is the potential key. From my point of view, despite my agreement, there are various things are more crucial than it.

On the one hand,
a large number of
benefits offers to individuals when they
are received
much
salaries.
First
and foremost, the dramatic increasing of life standard has entailed the high living cost.
Hence
, the more
money
they can
get
, the more effective they work.
For example
, for those who are the sole breadwinners, it would be an enormous motivation for them to have extra
money
as a present after
many
days working
hard
in terms of supporting their life
fully
and meeting their basic needs.
Moreover
, it
also
helps
them to finish their duties
sucessfully
.

On the other hand
, I
also
maintain my opinion that
money
is not the best choice to inspire workers. To
begin
with, there is no denying that emotion plays
an
pivotal role in motivating workers. Should they
own
satisfied and comfortable feeling, it seems to be better when it
comes
to having productive working. According to the newest survey, it
shows
that more than 80% of employers are likely to finish their heavy workloads earlier and more successful if they are not under any pressure or tense atmosphere
especially
having a
good
relationship with their managers and colleagues.
As a result
, without doubt, being
given
compliments will be better than all other motivators.

In conclusion
, it can not
be denied
that sympathy, friendly along with numerous compliments appears to outweigh
money
in regards to
encouraging
people
working
energetically
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that money is the most important factor which motivates people to work better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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