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Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.8

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. v. 8
These days, many teenagers anticipate that their relatives give them money as a gift. Some argue that, money is the utmost apposite present for them to give. While others dissent to this statement. Personally, I disagree with the objective and will edify my opinion in further discussion. To begin with, monetary gifts are the most pursual way to surprise someone. Folks believe that when we surprise them with money they are glad, rather than some random present. Students are gleeful in the moment because they have certain desires and buy their desired things through money. Someone said that the money can’t buy happiness. But the youth refuses to accept that thought and argue that the wealth is everything. In addition, if someone offers youngsters gifts, they are not happy as they received money. In a particular way, they expect funds to buy what they actually want. They will have the capability of standing up on their own approach. On the contrary, some intellectuals have different way to tackle this subject, they think instead of giving money, provide them books, cognitive material for their brighter future. Try some innovative tract to cherish their age and vigorous warm up them with a differ manner to develop their skills in educational term. When they get money, they will be attracted to disgraced activities including usage of alcohol, drugs, these approaches might be malignant for them and disrupt their teenage. In fact, teenagers who are expected to pursue higher studies and only focus on study matter, they should not be disturbed with these gifts. Present them a book or journal to encourage their studies To sum up, while some people think that money is the best present to teenagers can be given, In my opinion, I believe that, don’t offer them money as a gift, they should receive items rather than money which can luminous their fate.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
anticipate that their relatives give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the utmost apposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
for them to give.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others dissent to this statement.
Personally
, I disagree with the objective and will edify my opinion in
further
discussion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
pursual
way to surprise someone. Folks believe that when we surprise them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they are glad,
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. Students are gleeful
Did you mean "at the moment" (=currently)?
in the moment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have certain desires and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their desired things through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Someone said that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the youth refuses to accept that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and argue that the wealth is everything.
In addition
, if someone offers youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
, they are not happy as they received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In a particular way, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they actually want. They will have the capability of standing up on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
approach.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intellectuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way to tackle this subject, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
instead
of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, provide them books, cognitive material for their brighter future. Try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innovative tract to cherish their age and vigorous warm up them with
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'differ' is correct. If 'differ' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a differ
manner to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in educational term. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they will
be attracted
to disgraced activities including usage of alcohol, drugs, these approaches might be malignant for them and disrupt their teenage. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to pursue higher studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on study matter, they should not
be disturbed
with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Present
them a book or journal to encourage their studies

To sum up, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, In my opinion, I believe that, don’t offer them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
, they should receive items
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which can luminous their fate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. v. 8

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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