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some people think that money can buy you happiness

some people think that money can buy you happiness dDYAo
Society incloude is different people. Them have various idea anyway on issue. Some people consider that money can buy you happiness and others disagree to the statment. As for me, I fully disagree to the statment given above and let me state my points of view with specific arguments to develop my essay. First of all, it should be noted that money is one of the important things while we need for life. Besides, happiness everybody is different. For me, this is when my family members and friends are helthy. They live a normal life and i feel the sense of stability. In addition, one of the things while you can not buy money is love. This is most important for me with helthy.  Furthermore, money can not buy true friends and this issue for me very important. However, some people belive that money can you buy good medicament or go hospital where care of you. Them think that this is help you become helthy. In addition, they conciderned if you have a money you are happinenss. You can buy everything, enjoy and go everywhere. To sum up, I strongly disagree that money can buy you happiness. This is neccesary but not much than is love, true friend and memory with lovely people.
Society
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incloude
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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people
.
Did you mean "Then"?
Them
have various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
anyway on issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
consider that
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money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
you happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
disagree to the
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statment
. As for me, I
fully
disagree to the
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statment
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given
above and
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let
me state my points of view with specific arguments to develop my essay.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it should
be noted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things while we need for life.
Besides
, happiness everybody is
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different
. For me, this is when my family members and friends are
Possible spelling mistake found.
helthy
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a normal life and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel the sense of stability.
In addition
, one of the things while you can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. This is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for me with
Possible spelling mistake found.
helthy
.  
Furthermore
,
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money
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
true friends and this issue for me
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
,
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some
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people
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belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medicament or go hospital where care of you.
Did you mean "Then"?
Them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you become
Possible spelling mistake found.
helthy
.
In addition
, they
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conciderned
if you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
you are
Possible spelling mistake found.
happinenss
. You can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
everything, enjoy and go everywhere. To sum up, I
strongly
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
you happiness. This is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
Use "more" to make a comparison with this adjective.
much
than is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, true friend and memory with lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay some people think that money can buy you happiness

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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