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Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.10

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. v. 10
Some people argue that with appearance of computers, libraries became redundant and they are wasteful use of the budget. While others consider that book repositories are necessary and the society should save them. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and then I will give my own opinion on the matter. Opponents of libraries may support their view by the argument that modern servers are able to store gigabytes of the information, as plenty data as wanted. As well as this electronic storages are quite save and well-established, while paper books are can be easily destroyed by fire or grow moldy because of water. In addition, libraries are costly and many people prefer to read electronic books. Thus, keeping public libraries may be considered as money wastage and computers and electronic devises should shift them. Meanwhile, on the other side of the argument are those who believe that libraries should be funded and computers are not able to take their place. To support this point of view, paper books are our heritage and libraries play a significant role in keeping it. For instance, some famous libraries store ancient books with covers from precious metal and stones. Furthermore, it is incomparable pleasure to read a paper book touching its sheets and thinking how many people have read it before you. From my perspective, I think that libraries are essential because they give us touch of history; as well as for student it would more valuable to study literature into them instead of copying material in the Internet. For example, I have completely written my final project using paper books from the university library. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance however, I believe that libraries should be kept by nations, as they are part of our heritage and are necessary during educational process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that with appearance of computers, libraries became
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
redundant and
they are wasteful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the budget. While others consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
repositories are necessary and the society should save them. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion on the matter.

Opponents of libraries may support their view by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
that modern servers are able to store gigabytes of the information, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
data as wanted.
As well
as this electronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
storages
are quite
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
and well-established, while paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by fire or grow moldy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of water.
In addition
, libraries are costly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to read electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Thus
, keeping public libraries may
be considered
as money wastage and computers and electronic devises should shift them.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
are those who believe that libraries should
be funded
and computers are not able to take their place. To support this point of view, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are our heritage and libraries play a significant role in keeping it.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
libraries store ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with covers from precious metal and stones.
Furthermore
, it is incomparable pleasure to read a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
touching its sheets and thinking how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have read it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you.

From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that libraries are essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they give us touch of history;
as well
as for student it would more valuable to study literature into them
instead
of copying material
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
.
For example
, I have completely written my final project using paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from the university library.

In conclusion
, both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
have their merits. On balance
however
, I believe that libraries should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
by nations, as they are part of our heritage and are necessary during educational process.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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