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some people think that large, impressive buildings...

some people think that large, impressive buildings. . . GN2yx
In this day and age, more and more impressive buildings are constructed in many countries around the world. While some people thought that the goverment should invest in large structures, I believed that hospitals and schools are much more important to a country and we should pay more attention to them instead of constructing these sorts of buildings. On one hand, big, grand buildings can contribute to a city in several different ways. First of all, such a building can serve as the home of many companies and businesses of both local and national importance. Additionally, it can also hold large-scale significant functions or events such as conventions, concerts, or exhibitions that serve the needs of the community. Lastly, an impressive-looking building can become a city’s icon and tourist attraction. The Empire State Building in New York, for example, is one of the city’s tallest buildings and most famous sights, drawing millions of tourists every year who flock to visit its spectacular observation deck. On the other hand, schools and hospitals provide services that are essential to a city. Schools help educate our children whereas hospitals keep the population healthy. It is thanks to them that the populace can be productive and happy, the crimes rates remain low, and the city’s quality of life improves. All of these are only possible if enough money is invested to hire good teaching and hospital staff and provide high quality equipment and facilities. To sum up, there are tangible benefits to a city whether funding is funneled toward big buildings or schools and hospitals. In my opinion, however, whenever there are conflicting priorities, schools and hospitals should be given first consideration as they provide indispensable services.
In this day and age, more and more impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are constructed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should invest in large structures, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
we should pay more attention to them
instead
of constructing these sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can contribute to a city in several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can serve as the home of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and businesses of both local and national importance.
Additionally
, it can
also
hold large-scale significant functions or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as conventions, concerts, or exhibitions that serve the needs of the community.
Lastly
, an impressive-looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can become a city’s icon and tourist attraction. The Empire State
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Building
in New York,
for example
, is one of the city’s tallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
sights, drawing millions of tourists every year who flock to visit its spectacular observation deck.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
provide services that are essential to a city.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
educate our children whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the population healthy. It is thanks to them that the populace can be productive and happy, the crimes rates remain low, and the city’s quality of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
. All of these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money
is invested
to hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teaching and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
staff and provide high quality equipment and facilities.

To sum up, there are tangible benefits to a city whether funding
is funneled
toward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
. In my opinion,
however
, whenever there are conflicting priorities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
first
consideration as they provide indispensable services.
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IELTS essay some people think that large, impressive buildings. . .

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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