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some people think that large, impressive buildings...

some people think that large, impressive buildings. . . GN2yx
In this day and age, more and more impressive buildings are constructed in many countries around the world. While some people thought that the goverment should invest in large structures, I believed that hospitals and schools are much more important to a country and we should pay more attention to them instead of constructing these sorts of buildings. On one hand, big, grand buildings can contribute to a city in several different ways. First of all, such a building can serve as the home of many companies and businesses of both local and national importance. Additionally, it can also hold large-scale significant functions or events such as conventions, concerts, or exhibitions that serve the needs of the community. Lastly, an impressive-looking building can become a city’s icon and tourist attraction. The Empire State Building in New York, for example, is one of the city’s tallest buildings and most famous sights, drawing millions of tourists every year who flock to visit its spectacular observation deck. On the other hand, schools and hospitals provide services that are essential to a city. Schools help educate our children whereas hospitals keep the population healthy. It is thanks to them that the populace can be productive and happy, the crimes rates remain low, and the city’s quality of life improves. All of these are only possible if enough money is invested to hire good teaching and hospital staff and provide high quality equipment and facilities. To sum up, there are tangible benefits to a city whether funding is funneled toward big buildings or schools and hospitals. In my opinion, however, whenever there are conflicting priorities, schools and hospitals should be given first consideration as they provide indispensable services.
In this day and age, more and more impressive
buildings
are constructed
in
many
countries around the world. While
some
people
thought
that the
goverment
should invest in large structures, I believed that
hospitals
and
schools
are much more
important
to a
country and
we should pay more attention to them
instead
of constructing these sorts of
buildings
. On one hand,
big
, grand
buildings
can contribute to a city in several
different
ways.
First of all
, such a
building
can serve as the home of
many
companies
and businesses of both local and national importance.
Additionally
, it can
also
hold large-scale significant functions or
events
such as conventions, concerts, or exhibitions that serve the needs of the community.
Lastly
, an impressive-looking
building
can become a city’s icon and tourist attraction. The Empire State
Building
in New York,
for example
, is one of the city’s tallest
buildings
and most
famous
sights, drawing millions of tourists every year who flock to visit its spectacular observation deck.

On the other hand
,
schools
and
hospitals
provide services that are essential to a city.
Schools
help
educate our children whereas
hospitals
keep
the population healthy. It is thanks to them that the populace can be productive and happy, the crimes rates remain low, and the city’s quality of life
improves
. All of these are
only
possible if
enough
money
is invested
to hire
good
teaching and
hospital
staff and provide high quality equipment and facilities.

To sum up, there are tangible benefits to a city whether funding
is funneled
toward
big
buildings
or
schools
and
hospitals
. In my opinion,
however
, whenever there are conflicting priorities,
schools
and
hospitals
should be
given
first
consideration as they provide indispensable services.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay some people think that large, impressive buildings. . .

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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