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Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel but other think that animals are neccessary part of diet. Ehat do you think ?

Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel but other think that animals are neccessary part of diet. Ehat do you think? BwdKj
It is consider by individuals that killing of animal for human consumption is not akind act. While, ither have conflicting views that meat is an indispensable part of diet. According to my opinion, it is normal act to kill animals for food as some terrains do not have agricultural land and imperative to maintain ecological cycle. The option to think that animals are part of diet has it's benefits for many convincing reasons. Firstly, there are rew region in the world which do not have suitable cultivated land. In other word, owning to rapid rise in human population there is lake of farmland. As well as in some deserts and polar regions where agricultural is not possible thus human can only rely on animals for food. For example, in middle east such as Rajesthan it is very difficult to graw crops due to lack of water so, mass depend on any type of meat for their existence. As result it become essential to raise and kill animals. Furthermore, ecosystems have arrangements in which each species rely on other for survival. It is rule of nature that human as component of food chain has to kill other species to maintain population at every level. Otherwise if number of organs at any stage escated then it may have adverse effect on our life. The example to illustrate if humans do not kill certain animals then their population will increase and it may cause soil errosion. Thus it is mandatory to kill animal to maintain ecological cycle. In conclusion, due to shortage of farming land and to maintain our cycle it is normal to eat animals for human diet.
It is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
by individuals that killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
consumption is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
akind
act.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ither
have conflicting views that meat is an indispensable part of diet. According to my opinion, it is normal act to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
terrains do not have agricultural land and imperative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
ecological cycle. The option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are part of diet has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
benefits for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
convincing reasons.
Firstly
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
rew
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "regions"?
region
in the world which do not have suitable cultivated land. In other word, owning to rapid rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population there is lake of farmland.
As well
as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deserts and polar regions where agricultural is not possible
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food.
For example
, in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rajesthan
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
Possible spelling mistake found.
graw
crops due to lack of water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, mass depend on any type of meat for their existence. As
The comma is probably missing here: "result, it".
result it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
essential to raise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Furthermore
, ecosystems have arrangements in which each species rely on other for survival. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of nature that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
as component of food chain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
other species to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
population at every level.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
if number of organs at any stage
Possible spelling mistake found.
escated
then it may have adverse effect on our life. The example to illustrate if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
then their population will increase and it may cause soil
Possible spelling mistake found.
errosion
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is mandatory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
ecological cycle.
In conclusion
, due to shortage of farming land and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
our cycle it is normal to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
diet.
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IELTS essay Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel but other think that animals are neccessary part of diet. Ehat do you think?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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