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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples. v.6

It has long been a subject of discussion of whether owning pets at home is beneficial for kids or it is risky and unhealthy. To see whether the former outdo latter we need to look at both sides of the debate. The most telling argument in favour of not having a pet in your house lies in the fact that some individuals may consider household animals as a threat is their aggressive behaviour because children below five years do not know how to handle pet animals, and may beat the pets or chew their ears. This causes a pet to become angry and attack to the toddlers. Not only a little bit of parental supervision is more than enough to take care of these problems but they can also ensure their child's safety. Besides, household pets may spread diseases like allergies and food poisoning because they carry dirt which contains many virus and bacteria that might be dangerous for their kid's health. Needless to say, all these aspects stand in good stead when it comes to justifying the prevention of pets in children's life. Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, keeping pets at home has myriad of benefits for their kids. The primary one stems from the fact that some children feel isolated, so keeping a pet helps them to avoid aloofness and give company to play to kill the boredom. Apart from this, the more time children spend with the pets, the more they will be responsible towards the animals, which further helps kids to make more responsible towards the other people as well. Apparently, the drawbacks of this trend are far greater than its advantages. From what has been discussed above, one can conclude that despite some concerns, all these benefits stand in good stead when it comes to ensuring child safety is instrumental indeed.
It has long been a subject of discussion of whether owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
at home is beneficial for
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids or
it is risky and unhealthy. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whether the former outdo latter we need to look at both sides of the debate.

The most telling argument in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of not having a pet in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
lies in the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals may consider household animals as a threat is their aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children below five years do not know how to handle pet animals, and may beat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
or chew their ears. This causes a pet to become angry and attack to the toddlers. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
Reduce redundancy by using “little” or “bit”.
little bit
of parental supervision is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take care of these problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
ensure their child's safety.
Besides
, household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
may spread diseases like allergies and food poisoning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they carry dirt which contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
virus and bacteria that might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for their kid's health.

Needless to say, all these aspects stand in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to justifying the prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
in children's life. Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
at home has myriad of benefits for their kids. The primary one stems from the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children feel isolated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
keeping a pet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to avoid aloofness and give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to play to kill the boredom. Apart from this, the more time children spend with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
, the more they will be responsible towards the animals, which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more responsible towards the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
.
Apparently
, the drawbacks of this trend are far greater than its advantages.

From what has
been discussed
above, one can conclude that despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns, all these benefits stand in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to ensuring child safety is instrumental
indeed
.

IELTS essay Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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