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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people cannot be expected to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people cannot be expected to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. LrBPr
There are many people who reckon that having contentment regarding their job is necessary, whereas others opine that job security is much more important than having a job full og satisfaction. In my opinion, I believe that, a permanent job provides much more benefits than a satisfactory job. To embark on, it is irrefutable that job satisfaction is considered to be paramount by many people. Firstly, individuals believe that having a desired job can improve their level of productivity and can exaggerate their lateral thinking. Secondly, it can help in coping with the stress regarding the working environment. For instance, a research conducted in 2017 proved that, people with satisfactory jobs are less likely to he depressed or worried related to their life. On the contrary, a secure job eliminates the fear of getting fired from the job and promises high wages. Moreover, getting a permanent job offers plethora of other benefits so that the employees can feel a sense of recognition by their organization. Furthermore, the salary is continuous and there is no fear of losing the job due to mistakes. For instance, many researches done by various companies have proven that people having permanent jobs have no stress regarding the well-being of their families and consequently, are better at facing challenges. Meanwhile, due to amelioration the demands of people will keep on changing regarding their work place. Therefore, job satisfaction is a temporary factor. Whereas, job security is permanent as it ensures the employees to dedicate their energy into work by providing them with all the necessary resources. To conclude, albeit, having a better work place with all the comfort is important, I believe that, a secure job offering multitude of benefits is way more important as it provides security and strength to overcome one's fears.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
contentment regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is necessary, whereas others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
full
Possible spelling mistake found.
og
satisfaction. In my opinion, I believe that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provides much more benefits than a satisfactory job.

To embark on, it is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
is considered
to be paramount by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their level of productivity and can exaggerate their lateral thinking.
Secondly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in coping with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
regarding the working environment.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted in 2017 proved that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are less likely to he depressed or worried related to their life.

On the contrary
, a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
eliminates the fear of getting fired from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and promises high wages.
Moreover
, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offers plethora of other benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the employees can feel a sense of recognition by their organization.
Furthermore
, the salary is continuous and there is no fear of losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
due to mistakes.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches done by various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
regarding the well-being of their families and
consequently
, are better at facing challenges.

Meanwhile, due to amelioration the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing regarding their work place.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is a temporary factor.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
as it ensures the employees to dedicate their energy into work by providing them with all the necessary resources.

To conclude
, albeit,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a better work place with all the comfort is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I believe that, a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offering multitude of benefits is way more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it provides security and strength to overcome one's fears.
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IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people cannot be expected to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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