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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in a small family units, rather than in large extended family group. Is it positive or negative trend?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in a small family units, rather than in large extended family group. Is it positive or negative trend? lje0K
It is true that citizens nowadays do not want to gather in large family groups and prefer the loneliness or small companies. To my point of view, this way has a negative implication because the individuals can start to be depressed with time, because of lack of connection and a large family upbringing has positive effect on children, however. Firstly, the most important factor is that aloneness can lead to depression. Lack of connecting with other people or large group can cause to condition when person starts to be afraid of other people and concentrates on themself more than need. It can have broad implications for mental health, for example, the head and mind can be filled by awful and negative thoughts, and therefore, it may have its dangers of getting depression or psychological disease. Secondly, a large family upbringing influences on the children in positive way. Permanent contacting with grandparents and other family members learns the youth moral character’s features like responsiveness, willingness to help, love. Large family groups have many interesting traditions, which children are into and they are transmitted from generation to generation. All these positive methods, which big family brings, help by upbringing children. According to a recent poll, children in big families are more socially adapted and have better upbringing, than children in small family units. In conclusion, today’s trend to be better alone has pessimistic impact for person because loneliness is connected with depression in many cases; however a big family can help by upbringing.
It is true that citizens nowadays do not want to gather in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups and prefer the loneliness or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. To my point of view, this way has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
be depressed
with time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of connection and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
upbringing has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
however
.

Firstly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
aloneness
can lead to depression. Lack of connecting with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
group can cause to condition when person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to be afraid of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and concentrates on
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
more than need. It can have broad implications for mental health,
for example
, the head and mind can
be filled
by awful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts, and
therefore
, it may have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of getting depression or psychological disease.

Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
upbringing influences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way. Permanent contacting with grandparents and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members learns the youth moral character’s features like responsiveness, willingness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting traditions, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
into and
they
are transmitted
from generation to generation. All these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
methods, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
brings,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by upbringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. According to a recent poll,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are more
socially
adapted and have better upbringing, than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s trend to be better alone has pessimistic impact for person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
loneliness
is connected
with depression in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases;
however
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by upbringing.
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IELTS essay In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in a small family units, rather than in large extended family group. Is it positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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