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some people think that itis better to accept bad cases such as unsatisfactory job,short of money,while others suppose that they should try to improve these.Discuss both viewsand give your opinions

some people think that itis better to accept bad cases such as unsatisfactory job, short of money, while others suppose that they should try to improve these. Discuss both viewsand give your opinions k5DNe
In recent years, there is a concerned debate whether it is better to give up when suffering from challenging situations or strive to better these. In my opinion, instead of acceptance, individuals ought to try to enhance bad circumstances. On the one hand, it is apparently true of that giving up sometimes is the optimal approach in some cases. The lack of strong motivation in the mind is believed to be the primary reasons supporting why a huge number of individuals tend to give up mindset since when they strive to make some changes, massive efforts made up motivation in person are required to give them more energy to keep going in spite of not ensuring whether they could be enhanced or not. In addition, acceptance is likely to not only create an opportunity for individuals to find out something better but also help them feel a sense of security in their life. For example, most of the employees are encouraged to call a quit for another favourable job if they do not find any interest in their job. This is supposed to be the most effective method in various challenging cases which are caused by personal problems especially the feeling known as catalyst for accepting. On the other hand, I side with people going on their mindset to better these bad ones for many compelling reasons. Firstly, improving unfavourable situations that provides challengers with a barrage of wonderful chances to open up a variety of outstanding achievements. Well-known explorers who had found new land existing the survivals of people all around the world, an example, had encountered a plenty of difficulties during the journey of discovering before succeeding in their planned goals which made almost people pay a high respect on them. Apart from that, another reason is that accepting to come along these is a convenient means of moving up in life by learn how to be patient to be successful. To illustrate, more challenging experiences they can expose, more skills that they can learn how to live their lives to the fullest. In conclusion, sometimes, person individuals had better to admit unpleasant cases, but if they strive to better those, they will produce not only a sense of happiness but also originate in meaningful circumstances which is conducive to their life,
In recent years, there is a concerned debate whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to give up when suffering from challenging situations or strive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
these. In my opinion,
instead
of acceptance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
ought to try to enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstances.

On the one hand, it is
apparently
true of that giving up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is the optimal approach in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. The lack of strong motivation in the mind
is believed
to be the primary reasons supporting why a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
tend to give up mindset since when they strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, massive efforts made up motivation in person
are required
to give them more energy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
not ensuring whether they could
be enhanced
or not.
In addition
, acceptance is likely to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to find out something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them feel a sense of security in their life.
For example
, most of the employees
are encouraged
to call a quit for another
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
job if they do not find any interest in their job. This
is supposed
to be the most effective method in various challenging cases which
are caused
by personal problems
especially
the feeling known as catalyst for accepting.

On the other hand
, I side with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going on their mindset to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ones for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compelling reasons.
Firstly
, improving
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
situations that provides challengers with a barrage of wonderful chances to open up a variety of outstanding achievements. Well-known explorers who had found new land existing the survivals of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world, an example, had encountered a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of difficulties during the journey of discovering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
succeeding in their planned goals which made almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
pay a high respect on them. Apart from that, another reason is that accepting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
a convenient means of moving up in life by learn how to be patient to be successful. To illustrate, more challenging experiences they can expose, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they can learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to the fullest.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to admit unpleasant cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they strive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
those, they will produce not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a sense of happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
originate in meaningful circumstances which is conducive to their life,
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IELTS essay some people think that itis better to accept bad cases such as unsatisfactory job, short of money, while others suppose that they should try to improve these. Discuss both viewsand give your opinions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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