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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A number of people believe, if big factories were more remote from large cities, It would be better. This essay will explain that why I believe the advantages of this matter are more than disadvantages. Looking at the advantages firstly, there are lots of companies in the world at present time and they have some sorrowful impacts for our world consequently one of them is the pollution of the air. Moving of the industries to local places cause that the air of cities will clearer than nowadays. While the number of the companies and factories decrease, the pollution level of the air do the same. Because they are the main thing which pollute the air. Another positive side is that, when they move to far away from cities, the density of city will decline. For instance, lots of people go to the cities for looking for a occupation and that is why, they start to live there. But in this case, they will desire to reside in the near of their work place so lots of people flit away from cities. As a result, large cities are going to be clearer and less thick than nowadays. However, there is a disadvantage of this consequently the value of the items of companies which move away from cities are going to increase. As we know, all costs are estimated to give a worth for product and travel cost is one of these. In this situation, travel cost will increase because they are farther from cities know and it is needed to provide the markets with items. So finally, value of items will be higher than previous time. In conclusion, we have mentioned the advantages and disadvantages of this topic and saw that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages consequently it would be better that big companies, factories and industries locate remote from cities.
A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factories were more remote from large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, It would be better. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that why I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of this matter are more than disadvantages.

Looking at the
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advantages
firstly
, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the world at present
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorrowful impacts for our world
consequently
one of them is the pollution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. Moving of the industries to local places cause that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “wills”? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so ‘will’ is not always incorrect.)
will
clearer than nowadays. While the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories decrease, the pollution level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
do the same.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they are the main thing which pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side is that, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to far away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the density of city will decline.
For instance
, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for looking for
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
occupation and
that is
why, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in this case
, they will desire to reside in the
The phrase ‘the near of’ is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between ‘the’ and ‘of’.
near
of their work place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
flit away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
As a result
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are going to be clearer and less thick than nowadays.

However
, there is a disadvantage of this
consequently
the value of the items of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are going to increase. As we know, all costs
are estimated
to give a worth for product and travel cost is one of these. In this situation, travel cost will increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are farther from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
know and
it
is needed
to provide the markets with items.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
finally
, value of items will be higher than previous time.

In conclusion
, we have mentioned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of this topic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
outweigh the disadvantages
consequently
it would be better that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, factories and industries locate remote from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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