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Government should spend more money on railways rather than roadways . To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement

It is said very often said by people in our country that roadways are connected in each and every region but railways are not connected yet in every region. So before reaching to a concrete decision let us talk briefly its advantages of connecting railways in each and every region in the upcoming paragraphs First and foremost lest us take an example of delivering products to an hilly region with the help of Rail transport. As we know that in our country railways are not constructed in hilly region till now so the products which are deliver in hilly region is possible with the help of road transport because they are widely connected Road networks in our country, which help to deliver a product to a person in hilly Region. Secondly let us take an example of delivering product to an hilly region with the help of Road Networks. As in previous paragraph i said that road networks are connected in each and every part of Region so it is very easy to deliver a product by a Roadway. Now let us put previous point in more specific way as we seen it is very hard to deliver a product by rail networks because it is not widely connected in our country, but it seems very easy to deliver a product by Road Networks. so, that seems we need to build more Rail network so that it can be easy for people to deliver the products with the help of Rail Network only. In my opinion, I would agree with the given statement that government should spend more money on Railways instead of Roadways.
It
is said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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often
said by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that roadways are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
in each and every
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
yet
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
.
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So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to a concrete decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us talk
briefly
its advantages of connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
in the upcoming paragraphs

First
and foremost lest us take an example of delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hilly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rail
transport. As we know that in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are not constructed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hilly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are
Consider using either the past participle “delivered” or the present participle “delivering” here.
deliver
in
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hilly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
is possible with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
widely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
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deliver
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to a person in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hilly
Region.

Secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take an example of delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hilly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Networks
. As in previous paragraph
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
in each and every part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deliver
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by a Roadway.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us put previous point in more specific way as we
You used a past participle without using any required verb (‘be’ or ‘have’).
seen
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deliver
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
widely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deliver
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Networks
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
so
, that seems we need to build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can be easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deliver
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Network
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

In my opinion, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
instead
of Roadways.
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IELTS essay Government should spend more money on railways rather than roadways. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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