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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which one is a lot

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which one is a lot Kn6Xw
Playing games are more effective for mind, body and health. Some people believe that football, cricket and vollyball team sports are better whereas, others hold that solo games such as swimming, tennis and boxing are superior. In my opinion, however, I think that individuals sports are more advantageous than team sports. I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are plethora of reasons why some people are opine that team sports are more productive. Initially, team sports are help to players to develop interpersonal skills such as teamwork and communication skills which are not only significant in their daily life but also help in future time. In addition to, team sports give a chance to get sense of unity, friendship, Co - operation and good relationship with team members which are also help to people to make a good person in their life. On the other hand, there are some points why individuals sports are better than team sports. Firstly individuals learn valuable things in their own life like independence, self confide and others by taking part in boxing, swimming and tennis. For instance, shilla is famous female swimmer in America, in 2012, she challenged herself to swim 4 kilometers in short time in result, she had got gold medal because of her hardwork. In conclusion, although team sports can provide a wide range of things to players but individual sports are more beneficial.
Playing games are more effective for mind, body and health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that football, cricket and
Possible spelling mistake found.
vollyball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are better whereas, others hold that solo games such as swimming, tennis and boxing are superior. In my opinion,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are plethora of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Consider using a past participle here: "opined".
opine
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more productive.
Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to players to develop interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as teamwork and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
significant in their daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in future time.
In addition
to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
give a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sense of unity, friendship, Co
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
operation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members which are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "helped".
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person in their life.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
learn valuable things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life like independence, self confide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
by taking part in boxing, swimming and tennis.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
shilla
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
female swimmer in America, in 2012, she challenged herself to swim 4 kilometers in short time in result, she had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
gold medal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can provide a wide range of things to players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more beneficial.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which one is a lot

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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