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Why do some people do not want to see doctors? Are there negative or positive development?

Why do some people do not want to see doctors? Are there negative or positive development? LBnX3
Nowadays, the medical and health care system around the globe has been developed in various forms. Doctors and Scientist utilize many modern alternatives to cure patients with every ailment in the hospital. However, Baby boomers have a preference to receive a suggestion to heal their own sickness instead of going to the hospital. From this decision, I argue that there are several drawbacks impacting their health in the long-term care. This essay aims to explain the negative development from my own experience. First of all, visiting doctor may require a large amount of money to pay for their advises and medicines. Not everyone has much budget to afford for their health care and cure in the hospital. Avoiding to see them seems to be common for many people. Thai culture is one of the best instances. Whereas adolescents and youth have a great anxiety to sickness and death, elderlies especially before Gen Y and Z are not willing to spend money on their health care because of its expensive price. It is not worth to invest for them. Another reason is that some is afraid and terrified of pain, occurring in both mental and physical. Today, current medical technologies and systems are developed to cure and transform human-life, although many people in all generations fear from them. In this case, young children suffering from disease can feel scared of the doctors, because they do not want to be diagnosed. If the results appear to be a deadly sickness, this may lead to some surgery, which is painful for youth. Consequently, even though there are myriad disadvantages from avoiding the diagnose by doctors with both reasons. I still think that it is crucial for everyone to go to hospital, when we face some severe illness.
Nowadays, the medical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system around the globe has
been developed
in various forms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
and Scientist utilize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern alternatives to cure patients with every ailment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
.
However
, Baby boomers have a preference to receive a suggestion to heal their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sickness
instead
of going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. From this decision, I argue that there are several drawbacks impacting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. This essay aims to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
may require a large amount of money to pay for their advises and medicines. Not everyone has much budget to afford for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and cure in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. Avoiding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them seems to be common for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Thai culture is one of the best instances. Whereas adolescents and youth have a great anxiety to sickness and death,
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderlies
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Gen Y and Z are not willing to spend money on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its expensive price. It is not worth to invest for them.

Another reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
is afraid and terrified of pain, occurring in both mental and physical.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
medical technologies and systems
are developed
to cure and transform human-life, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in all generations fear from them.
In this case
, young children suffering from disease can feel scared of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to
be diagnosed
. If the results appear to be a deadly sickness, this may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
surgery, which is painful for youth.

Consequently
,
even though
there are myriad disadvantages from avoiding the
The word "diagnose" is a verb. Did you mean the noun "diagnosis"?
diagnose
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
with both reasons. I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is crucial for everyone to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
, when we face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe illness.
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IELTS essay Why do some people do not want to see doctors? Are there negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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