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ISome people think it is important for parents to spend time reading or telling bed time stories to children, while others claim children can read through variety of sources such as e-books, TV and the internet by themselves. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

ISome people think it is important for parents to spend time reading or telling bed time stories to children, while others claim children can read through variety of sources such as e-books, TV and the internet by themselves. 95gJ7
In modern world, people are cynical about whether parents should read stories to their children or let children gain information through books, TV and movies by themselves. In my point of view, it is better method for children to obtain information through their own efforts. On the one hand, the outcomes of reding by parents can be very rewarding because it not only build the strong relationship between kids and parents but also children can gain the rightful sources of information that allows them to understand the goodness and evilness since internets deliver abundances information sometimes. To illustrate, when children are confused about information that read from internet, parents can provide children with detailed information so as to attain better understanding of knowledge and maybe foster the love of reading. The purpose of reading, however, is never to confined to acquire the knowledge or information. Despite this, children can improve their autonomy in information obtaining and since this process is self-paced they can develop their time management skills and personality such as self-improvement and persistence, all of which is beneficial for their future study and career. Additionally, a large number of parents are coped with busy work style which lead to not having adequate time for them to read books for their children. As a result, children who read themselves will gain not only gain enormous knowledge but also help less burden for parents who have limited time. To sum up, in modern competitive world, it is better for children to develop self -learning or reading in their childhood because it will enhance their time management and to build strong determination for long term although rewarding from parents reading acquire both emotional and instructional value.
In modern world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are cynical about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
stories to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through books, TV and movies by themselves. In my point of view, it is better method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
efforts.

On the one hand, the outcomes of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reding
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rewarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
build the strong relationship between kids and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
the rightful sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to understand the goodness and evilness since
Possible spelling mistake found.
internets
deliver abundances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. To illustrate, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are confused
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
from internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
attain better understanding of knowledge and maybe foster the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of reading.

The purpose of reading,
however
, is never to confined to acquire the knowledge or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Despite this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their autonomy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
obtaining and since this process is self-paced they can develop their time management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and personality such as self-improvement and persistence, all of which is beneficial for their future study and career.
Additionally
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are coped
with busy work style which lead to not having adequate time for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
books for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
themselves will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
enormous knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
less burden for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who have limited time.

To sum up, in modern competitive world, it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop self -learning or reading in their childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will enhance their time management and to build strong determination for long term although rewarding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
reading acquire both emotional and instructional value.
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IELTS essay ISome people think it is important for parents to spend time reading or telling bed time stories to children, while others claim children can read through variety of sources such as e-books, TV and the internet by themselves.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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