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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. QL8X9
It is argued that playing sports with teammates is more beneficial. However, other people believe that taking part in individual sports is better. From my herpetic, I think each kind of sport also has its own profits. In this essay, I will explain this view. On the one hand, there are many reasons why people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played a team such as football, volleyball, … Firstly, it is clear that teamwork is seen in team players that they could not learn in individual sports. This is because these sports teach members how to make solidarity and how to sacrifice for the sake of the team. Secondly, the most important reason is that when players engage in team sports, they need to constantly think of strategies to win. This has a positive impact on their decision-making skills which is one of the most important skills nowadays. On the other hand, I believe that individual sports allow members to gain different skills. Playing individual sports is a good chance to develop independence. This can be explained by the fact that players have no help from others, so they must try the best to gain the achievement. Therefore, people learn to solve problems and make decisions in their life. Additionally, individual sports is an optimal way to develop their skills such as survival skill, time management skill, self-motivation. In conclusion, I strongly believe that each kind of sport has its benefits and people can accumulate many skills.
It
is argued
that playing
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sports
with teammates is more beneficial.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is better. From my herpetic, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
each kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
also
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
profits. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this view.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
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sports
which
are played
a
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team
such as football, volleyball, …
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that teamwork is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
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team
players that they could not learn in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This is
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because
these
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sports
teach members how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
solidarity and how to sacrifice for the sake of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
Secondly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that when players engage in
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team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they need to
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of strategies to win. This has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their decision-making
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skills
which is one of the most
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
nowadays.

On the other hand
, I believe that
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individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
members to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Playing
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individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to develop independence. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that players have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others,
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so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try the best to gain the achievement.
Therefore
,
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people
learn to solve problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions in their life.
Additionally
,
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individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is an optimal way to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as survival
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skill
, time management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, self-motivation.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that each kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has its benefits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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