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Some people think that it is important for children to learn lessons outside the classroom by visiting public buildings. In what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that it is important for children to learn lessons outside the classroom by visiting public buildings. In what extend v. 1
In the last decade, there has been a considerable debate and plenty of different opinions about if children should learn their lessons outside the classroom. I tend to agree with that idea for several reasons. Firstly, I believe that when children visit public buildings they are more interested in their lessons. For instance, if teachers decide to show the youngsters buildings and places which are full of valuable and remarkable things from their lessons there is a bigger chance to attract their attention and to make them curious and more enthusiastic about the subject. The fact of the matter is that diversity is always cleverer and an excellent idea because it is something unusual and different as well as brings a positive attitude, also the youngsters are most pleased and joyful. Nevertheless, there are people who consider that children can be distracted easily and they do not agree with the idea of learning lessons outside. This might be true, but I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. One of the real life examples I encountered was a several years ago when in my class there were a few classmates who weren't interested in anything from the school curriculum, but once we had a lesson outside the classroom, I saw a big difference in their behaviour - they felt free and as a result they were more active and enthusiastic about the lesson. My last point is that when children are not interested in the school material, the idea of learning outside and visiting public buildings is trustworthy because when juvenile have less contact with the lessons there are a great chance for under performing. The monotonous lectures can be always present in more enjoyable and notable ways. In a nutshell, I feel that the importance of lessons outside the classroom shouldn't be underestimated because they will help children and their performance at school will increase, moreover the youngsters would have more enthusiasm and desire for learning. Votes
In the last decade, there has been a considerable debate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the classroom. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
for several reasons.

Firstly
, I believe that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
visit public buildings they are more interested in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
For instance
, if teachers decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the youngsters buildings and places which are full of valuable and remarkable things from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
there is a bigger chance to attract their attention and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them curious and more enthusiastic about the subject. The fact of the matter is that diversity is always cleverer and an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is something unusual and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as well
as brings a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude,
also
the youngsters are most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
and joyful.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be distracted
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easily and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
. This might be true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. One of the real life examples I encountered was a several
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "year"?
years
ago when in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
there were a few classmates who weren't interested in anything from the school curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once we had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the classroom, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
they felt free and
as a result
they were more active and enthusiastic about the lesson.

My last point is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not interested in the school material, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and visiting public buildings is trustworthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when juvenile have less contact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
there are a great chance for under performing. The monotonous lectures can be always present in more enjoyable and notable ways.

In a nutshell, I feel that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the classroom shouldn't
be underestimated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their performance at school will increase,
moreover
the youngsters would have more enthusiasm and desire for learning.

Votes
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important for children to learn lessons outside the classroom by visiting public buildings. In what extend v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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