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Some people think that it is better to participate in sports that are played in teams, such as soccer, while others believe that participation in individual sports, such as tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is better to participate in sports that are played in teams, such as soccer, while others believe that participation in individual sports, such as tennis or swimming, is better. 7a3An
These days, the sports became major part of our day life. as we know some sports depends on group of players like basketball while other one player is enough like golf. in this essay i will discuss both side then i will draw my personal opinion. On one hand, some people argue the game that consists multiple persons is more beneficial. moreover, it's better because it has a high level of competition, to illustrate in my favorite team Real madrid, Marcello and mendy thay fight and train hardly to take the position. furthermore, you can meet and make a new friends in the stadium. for example, one of my friends the first meeting between us was when we play football at NSR academy so now he is my pest friend. On the Other hand, when you play alone like when you be a tenniser like Fedrar there is some advantages like it's less injury than when you play within group. to mske sure compare between Ronaldo and Fedrar. if we talk about the gift, if you 1player of course you will take more than if you with team. for example, if you are a team around 10 person and you win on champions and the prize was 1000SR you will get 100Sr while if you alone you will took it all. In conclusion, after careful analysis of both side i suggests the played on team more better than when you play individual. also i advice you to let your children play with team to be dependent on him self on the future.
These days, the sports became major part of our day life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
we know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports depends on group of players like basketball while other one player is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
like golf.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both side then
Did you mean "I"?
i
will draw my personal opinion.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue the game that consists multiple persons is more beneficial.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, it's better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a high level of competition, to illustrate in my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Real madrid
, Marcello and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mendy
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
fight and train hardly to take the position.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "friend"?
friends
in the stadium.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, one of my friends the
first
meeting between us was when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
football at
Possible spelling mistake found.
NSR
academy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is my pest friend.

On the Other hand
, when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
alone like when you be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tenniser
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fedrar
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages like it's less injury than when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
within group.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mske
sure compare between Ronaldo and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fedrar
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
we talk about the gift, if you 1player
of course
you will take more than if you with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, if you are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
around 10
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
and you win on champions and the prize was 1000SR you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
100Sr while if you alone you will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "take"
took
it all.

In conclusion
, after careful analysis of both side
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
suggests the played on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
than when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
individual.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
i advice you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
your children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to be dependent on him self on the future.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to participate in sports that are played in teams, such as soccer, while others believe that participation in individual sports, such as tennis or swimming, is better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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