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In some countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done about it?

In some countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done about it? KwloN
Today, some nations are experiencing the rise of the rate of illegal activities. This essay looks at the causes of this issue and suggests some solutions. One of the agents behind the growth of crime rates in several countries is poverty. To illustrate, in some counties in Africa, theft is rampant because citizens there do not have the ability to earn money on their own and live in dire conditions. Another factor is the lack of parental guidance to youngsters. These days, parents in several nations are too busy working to spend a lot of time with their children. As a result, children cannot be taught what behavior is acceptable or not in their society, causing them to misbehave. There are two possible ways to tackle this problem. One is for governments to introduce the system of basic income. If people receive some amount of money from their governments every month, this can alleviate the problem of poverty, the root cause of some illegitimate activities. The other solution is to provide financial aid to families with children. Nurturing youngsters costs tremendous amount of money. Therefore, parents are forced to work for long hours at the expense of the time spent with their children. Some money from governments can lead to the increase of the time that parents use with their children because the money will enable them to reduce the amount of hours they spend working. To conclude, the problem of poverty and the shortage of moral guidance parents instil in their children result in the rise of the percentage of crime in certain countries. To make the situation better, governments should offer financial assistance to those who do not have the source of enough income as well as parents with children.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations are experiencing the rise of the rate of illegal activities. This essay looks at the causes of this issue and suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

One of the agents behind the growth of crime rates in several countries is poverty. To illustrate, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
counties in Africa, theft is rampant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
citizens there do not have the ability to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in dire conditions. Another factor is the lack of parental guidance to youngsters. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in several nations are too busy working to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
be taught
what behavior is acceptable or not in their society, causing them to misbehave.

There are two possible ways to tackle this problem. One is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to introduce the system of basic income. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
every month, this can alleviate the problem of poverty, the root cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illegitimate activities. The other solution is to provide financial aid to families with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Nurturing youngsters costs tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are forced
to work for long hours at the expense of the time spent with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can lead to the increase of the time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of hours they spend working.

To conclude
, the problem of poverty and the shortage of moral guidance
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parents
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
result in the rise of the percentage of crime in certain countries. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation better,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should offer financial assistance to those who do not have the source of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
income
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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